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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 August 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1494
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Snommelp : I'm a graduate student, going for a Master's of Divinity. The long term plan is to become a clergyman in the Methodist Church. I also play Dungeons and Dragons and enjoy Harry Potter books. Have I blown your mind yet?

Snommelp's page activity

Visits<b>agostina_mc</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 12:01am<b>freeport_aidan</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 7:15pm<b>UselessReject23</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 11:27pm<b>Vitrolicz</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 3:02pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 1:19am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:17pm<b>ha</b> - the 11/22/2009 at 10:52pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 11/16/2009 at 4:36pm<b>Daaniellee1234</b> - the 08/25/2009 at 8:17pm<b>xxfallenangelxx</b> - the 08/19/2009 at 12:15am<b>McA513M</b> - the 08/12/2009 at 4:53pm<b>drimpossible</b> - the 07/23/2009 at 4:15pm<b>Inactive107</b> - the 07/23/2009 at 4:06pm<b>someotherbitch</b> - the 07/20/2009 at 12:21pm<b>roundnproud</b> - the 07/19/2009 at 3:13am<b>VenomSiphon</b> - the 07/14/2009 at 7:20pm<b>whyfuss</b> - the 07/14/2009 at 9:24am<b>LilMissBossy</b> - the 07/13/2009 at 5:21pm

Snommelp's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Snommelp's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML

by Painful / 10/05/2009 at 12:16am / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

by Waheyyy / 09/07/2009 at 3:19pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML

by flexibleflatulance / 09/04/2009 at 11:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, my nose was itchy. As I reached towards it to itch it, I sneezed ridiculously hard. I punched myself in the eye and now it's all purple and puffy. FML

by Ahhwtf / 08/18/2009 at 7:47am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I was working on a client's roof. Some neighborhood kids thought it would be hilarious if they knocked over my ladder. I was stuck on this roof in serious heat. I caught the attention of a pedestrian to come to my rescue. It was a little old lady. She gave me the finger and left. FML

by roofer / 07/31/2009 at 11:14am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, was my grandmother's funeral and we had to sing. My dad is a horrible singer, and I tried my hardest not to laugh, I turned red faced and tears were falling from my eyes. My step mother held my hand and said that she was in a better place. I couldn't hold it any longer. I laughed my ass off. FML

by shewholaughsatthedead / 07/29/2009 at 9:44pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend of eight years explained to me that the Egyptian pyramids were built by aliens from Mars. I have a B.S. in Biology and an M.S. in Anthropology, and I am working on my Ph.D. She thinks I'm an irrational idiot for telling her she is wrong. FML

by published_anthropologist / 07/23/2009 at 2:13am / United States / Work

Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML

by Rory / 07/23/2009 at 12:26am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late for morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. FML

by emperor / 07/21/2009 at 1:38am / Bangladesh (Dhaka) / Miscellaneous

Today, after work, I parked in the parking lot I go to every day to let heavy traffic go by. As I was about to leave, two cops suddenly yanked me out of the car and arrested me for "stocking," as they spelled it on the report. Some paranoid girl thought I was parking there every day to watch her. FML

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

by Cyberella / 07/17/2009 at 1:36am / Australia (South Australia) / Intimacy

Today, I sent out my monthly curriculum list to the parents of the kids in my math class so they can see what their children will be learning. I usually end my e-mails with the phrase 'math is power'. Now, 154 parents got an e-mail saying 'meth is power'. FML

by shit... / 07/05/2009 at 2:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML

by Barista / 07/05/2009 at 1:21am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

by DutchOven / 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love