Sneaky95

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Offline (the 08/30/2014 at 5:11am)

Sneaky95

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 8 February 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1798
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Sneaky95 : Names Matthew Valentin ima sneaky Puerto Rican or so I've been told lol

Sneaky95's page activity

Visits<b>annamaria55555</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 6:35pm<b>msmama1985</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 11:27am<b>Zeus1070</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 8:43pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 1:59am<b>Kaylea816</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 10:57pm<b>LuckyStar15</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 5:19am<b>Paintonmyarms214</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 7:34pm<b>justineelizabeth</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 1:51am<b>ignoremeimweird</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 10:25am<b>supersavvy</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 10:33am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 9:50am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 7:16pm<b>xToryBear</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 1:46am<b>Tika876</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 11:29pm<b>gman123999</b> - the 03/29/2013 at 6:34pm<b>cb1002630</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 12:02am<b>hernaaandez</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 11:37pm<b>dancinwookie</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 9:40pm

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I agree, their lives suck

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Sneaky95's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the hot girl he's been sending nudes to and cybering with for the past month is probably a bored, fat-as-fuck, balding male living in his mum's basement. The look on his face after I proved that "her" pictures were fake broke my heart. FML

by sanoria51 / 04/26/2013 at 7:58pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was denounced for being a terrible person, because my family raises chickens, some of which we eat. I was then told how cruel I am for "killing innocent birds" and that "good" people buy their meat from the supermarket. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2013 at 2:01pm / Mexico (Baja California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while he was eating chicken, one of my friends asked me why I'm a vegetarian. I responded that I believe in animal rights and don't like the conditions the animals are forced to live in. He looked at me incredulously before explaining that "chickens aren't animals, they're birds." FML

by revan546 / 04/26/2013 at 9:23am / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2013 at 5:17am / Love

Today, as I was walking down the street, a car full of hot girls pulled up and asked if I wanted to party; obviously, I said yes. They then shot at me with party poppers and threw party food all over me. FML

by KingUrge / 04/26/2013 at 4:36am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML

by sad guy / 04/26/2013 at 1:20am / United States / Love

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals

Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML

by my dumb bro / 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm / United States (Arkansas) / Kids

Today, when I got home, my child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me first". FML

by Amanda / 03/10/2013 at 12:08pm / Canada / Kids

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

by sn-511 / 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm / Italy (Campania) / Intimacy

Today, I met my mother's deeply religious fiancé for the first time. His response upon seeing me was to look me square in the eye and say, "You'll need to take out that nose stud or I'm afraid you'll not be welcome in our home." FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2013 at 2:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML

by VampObsessed / 01/05/2013 at 12:30am / United States (Texas) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

by for fuck sake dad / 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm / Ireland (Limerick) / Love

Today, my mom called me from jail. She was arrested for having sex in public. I was with my dad when I got the call. FML

by Monkey / 10/27/2012 at 11:02am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML

by wtactualfuck :( / 10/24/2012 at 5:08pm / United States / Love