Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Sneaky95

Search for a member

Sneaky95

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 8 February 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 698
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Sneaky95 : Names Matthew Valentin ima sneaky Puerto Rican or so I've been told lol

Sneaky95's page activity

Visits<b>msmama1985</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 11:27am<b>Zeus1070</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 8:43pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 1:59am<b>Kaylea816</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 10:57pm<b>LuckyStar15</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 5:19am<b>Paintonmyarms214</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 7:34pm<b>justineelizabeth</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 1:51am<b>ignoremeimweird</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 10:25am<b>supersavvy</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 10:33am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 9:50am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 7:16pm<b>xToryBear</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 1:46am<b>Tika876</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 11:29pm<b>gman123999</b> - the 03/29/2013 at 6:34pm<b>cb1002630</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 12:02am<b>hernaaandez</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 11:37pm<b>dancinwookie</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 9:40pm<b>error404n0tf0und</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 6:39pm

Sneaky95's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Sneaky95's badges

Sneaky95's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the hot girl he's been sending nudes to and cybering with for the past month is probably a bored, fat-as-fuck, balding male living in his mum's basement. The look on his face after I proved that "her" pictures were fake broke my heart. FML

#20623794
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40963) - you deserved it (8065)

On 04/26/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by sanoria51 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was denounced for being a terrible person, because my family raises chickens, some of which we eat. I was then told how cruel I am for "killing innocent birds" and that "good" people buy their meat from the supermarket. FML

#20623167
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46127) - you deserved it (2769)

On 04/26/2013 at 2:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, while he was eating chicken, one of my friends asked me why I'm a vegetarian. I responded that I believe in animal rights and don't like the conditions the animals are forced to live in. He looked at me incredulously before explaining that "chickens aren't animals, they're birds." FML

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML

#20622674
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72842) - you deserved it (10005)

On 04/26/2013 at 5:17am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, as I was walking down the street, a car full of hot girls pulled up and asked if I wanted to party; obviously, I said yes. They then shot at me with party poppers and threw party food all over me. FML

#20622653
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41231) - you deserved it (8833)

On 04/26/2013 at 4:36am - misc - by KingUrge (man) - United States (California)

Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML

#20622462
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52169) - you deserved it (2712)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:20am - love - by sad guy - United States

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79323) - you deserved it (4079)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML

#20599244
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49752) - you deserved it (8170)

On 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by my dumb bro - United States (Arkansas)

Today, when I got home, my child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me first". FML

#20538066
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48185) - you deserved it (5984)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:08pm - kids - by Amanda - Canada

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

#20527203
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61297) - you deserved it (5372)

On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)

Today, I met my mother's deeply religious fiancé for the first time. His response upon seeing me was to look me square in the eye and say, "You'll need to take out that nose stud or I'm afraid you'll not be welcome in our home." FML

#20513141
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35587) - you deserved it (4003)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

#20144826
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27606) - you deserved it (2855)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, my mom called me from jail. She was arrested for having sex in public. I was with my dad when I got the call. FML

#20135378
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48362) - you deserved it (2526)

On 10/27/2012 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Monkey (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML

#20131535
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31343) - you deserved it (1929)

On 10/24/2012 at 5:08pm - love - by wtactualfuck :( (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: