Smilez96

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Smilez96

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2542
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Smilez96's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of Smilez96's badges

Smilez96's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my parents are getting divorced. They're fighting over the dog instead of my sister and me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2010 at 12:29pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2010 at 6:12am / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Transportation

Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML

by betrayed / 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, while I was at my boyfriend's house, I got my period. About an hour after I tell him I just got my period, he impatiently says "Is it over yet?" FML

by MandMandM / 07/19/2010 at 2:38am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, while I was at my boyfriend's house, I got my period. About an hour after I tell him I just got my period, he impatiently says "Is it over yet?" FML

by MandMandM / 07/19/2010 at 2:38am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML

by anonmys / 07/18/2010 at 5:47pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2010 at 2:16am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, my 23-year old boyfriend is not talking to me because I bought the regular kind of macaroni and cheese instead of the cartoon kind. FML

by liz / 07/16/2010 at 3:45pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my girlfriend won't have sex with me. Why? Because my mii knocked out her mii in Wii boxing. It wouldn't be as bad if she wasn't in one player mode. FML

by knock_out / 07/15/2010 at 9:12pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan. So I bought her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML

by safetyfirst / 07/14/2010 at 11:17am / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend hacked my facebook account and set my status to say that I was in love with my boss. Seeing the post, my boss called me into his office, and told me he loved me too... FML

by Camille / 07/13/2010 at 8:02pm / United States (Maine) / Work

Today, I slipped on the wet floor at work and sprained my wrist badly. I was carrying the wet floor sign so no one would slip. FML

by babygirllxo / 07/13/2010 at 2:28pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Work

Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML

by E or / 07/13/2010 at 9:41am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

by Betchsadface / 07/13/2010 at 12:34am / United States / Animals

Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML

by RachelVanLannen9 / 07/11/2010 at 9:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy