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Smilez96

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Smilez96

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1986
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Smilez96's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of Smilez96's badges

Smilez96's favorite FMLs

Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML

#19758301
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15667) - you deserved it (41861)

On 06/09/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I learned that I wasn't really allergic to chocolate. My parents made it up when I was a child because they didn't want me to get fat. FML

#13970714
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38508) - you deserved it (4078)

On 11/25/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by wow (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, b*tch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML

#13827261
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12808) - you deserved it (52170)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I tripped on a step that said "Watch your step." Two hours later, I hit my head on a sign that said "Mind your head." FML

#13823119
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27816) - you deserved it (13159)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my Halloween costume finally showed up in the mail. Their consolation for a late delivery? A 50 cent discount. FML

#13756349
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25906) - you deserved it (2405)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:05pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was mad at my mother. Why? We went to parent-teacher interviews, and she told my math teacher that she should allow bathroom breaks because I have a "very heavy menstrual flow." My teacher suggested I eat more red meat. They got into a seven-minute argument about this. FML

#13746005
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30489) - you deserved it (2378)

On 11/07/2010 at 12:04am - health - by noname (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML

#13687643
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13584) - you deserved it (33739)

On 11/02/2010 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was cashier at work. The line came to a stop, but there was still people there. I kept saying next, but no one moved. I finally looked over the counter where there was a lady who had been standing there the whole time. She was a midget. FML

#13684047
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34951) - you deserved it (12690)

On 11/02/2010 at 2:20am - work - by saraleerocha - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at Wal-Mart and I asked a guy who worked there where the scrapbooking stuff was. He led me to the aisle where it was and then said, "By the way, I don't work here." FML

#13681370
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8296) - you deserved it (28042)

On 11/01/2010 at 10:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

#13661699
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65357) - you deserved it (9251)

On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML

#13645205
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40046) - you deserved it (10902)

On 10/30/2010 at 1:07am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Taranaki)

Today, I found out that my best friend lost her virginity to my father. Her excuse? She was drunk. His excuse? "She's hot." FML

#13642352
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53707) - you deserved it (4009)

On 10/29/2010 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mother, my aunt, and my two sisters are all on their periods. I can't even brush my teeth in my own house without being treated like a criminal. FML

#13641509
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42944) - you deserved it (4781)

On 10/29/2010 at 8:10pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was in lying in bed with my boyfriend while he was asleep. He is going to school to be a doctor, and it appears that he says anatomical terms while asleep. My boyfriend can make me feel stupid in his sleep. FML

#13580175
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13971) - you deserved it (22312)

On 10/24/2010 at 7:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went on a movie date with a guy. He brought his mom. FML

#13575803
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37966) - you deserved it (3785)

On 10/24/2010 at 12:14pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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