Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Smasher00zy

Search for a member

Smasher00zy

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 9 August 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1019
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Smasher00zy's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Smasher00zy's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML

#6285234
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24858) - you deserved it (5896)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:57am - misc - by joeheathen (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was sitting on the train and some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML

#4181466
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8241) - you deserved it (68658)

On 07/31/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my little 7 and 6 year old cousins came visit my family home. I heard the oldest one say that my sister was nice and pretty. Then the youngest replied "Yeah, but the older one has the face of a murderer." FML

#4175407
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40233) - you deserved it (3334)

On 07/31/2009 at 12:01am - kids - by BadMurderer (woman) - Mexico (Tabasco)

Today, I covered for my friend at work because he said he was having car troubles and was going to be late. Two hours into the shift, I got a call from my roommate asking why my girlfriend had moved out. Turns out, I'd covered my friend's shift so he could help my girlfriend move out behind my back. FML

#4173235
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44399) - you deserved it (2846)

On 07/30/2009 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML

#4157667
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40951) - you deserved it (26482)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:21am - intimacy - by verysadasian (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my boss asked me to call his new phone to make sure it's working. When his phone didn't ring, he looked at my phone to confirm I called him. My boss then saw that I'd entered him into my phonebook as "douche bag". FML

#4105054
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10616) - you deserved it (71676)

On 07/28/2009 at 11:23am - work - by dotcomboy - United States

Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML

#3849129
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14185) - you deserved it (46259)

On 07/18/2009 at 2:03am - misc - by joedoe (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

#3842566
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35405) - you deserved it (94166)

On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother replaced my cologne with whiskey. I have a job interview and I smell like a drunk. FML

#3838963
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41803) - you deserved it (3886)

On 07/17/2009 at 7:14pm - misc - by tukker (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. I speak 4 languages and thought if I spoke French, the Officer would let me off with a warning thinking I was a tourist. Afterwards I turned to my wife and said "I can't believe that worked." He was a few feet away and heard. FML

#3838271
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9974) - you deserved it (94050)

On 07/17/2009 at 6:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was "Best positions for a small penis." FML

#3691268
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84077) - you deserved it (13025)

On 07/12/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by wtf (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, McDonalds charged me 21 cents for a honey mustard packet. The jerk manager made me break a $50 bill. So I grabbed all their napkins, carried them into the parking lot and tossed them all into the air in protest and drove off. Down the road, I realized I left my wallet at the counter. FML

#3117856
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13121) - you deserved it (75340)

On 06/22/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by Jesse (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML

#2634105
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55295) - you deserved it (4471)

On 06/05/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by KL (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I finally beat the song "Through the Fire and Flames" on Guitar Hero 3. I then realized that it was the biggest accomplishment I've ever made in my entire life. FML

#1909780
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48199) - you deserved it (34870)

On 05/13/2009 at 6:20pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: