Smasher00zy

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Smasher00zy

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 9 August 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1368
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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Smasher00zy's FML badges

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Smasher00zy's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML

by joeheathen / 11/13/2009 at 7:57am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting on the train and some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, my little 7 and 6 year old cousins came visit my family home. I heard the oldest one say that my sister was nice and pretty. Then the youngest replied "Yeah, but the older one has the face of a murderer." FML

by BadMurderer / 07/31/2009 at 12:01am / Mexico (Tabasco) / Kids

Today, I covered for my friend at work because he said he was having car troubles and was going to be late. Two hours into the shift, I got a call from my roommate asking why my girlfriend had moved out. Turns out, I'd covered my friend's shift so he could help my girlfriend move out behind my back. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2009 at 11:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML

by verysadasian / 07/30/2009 at 10:21am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my boss asked me to call his new phone to make sure it's working. When his phone didn't ring, he looked at my phone to confirm I called him. My boss then saw that I'd entered him into my phonebook as "douche bag". FML

by dotcomboy / 07/28/2009 at 11:23am / United States / Work

Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML

by joedoe / 07/18/2009 at 2:03am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

by Pumpkin / 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my brother replaced my cologne with whiskey. I have a job interview and I smell like a drunk. FML

by tukker / 07/17/2009 at 7:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. I speak 4 languages and thought if I spoke French, the Officer would let me off with a warning thinking I was a tourist. Afterwards I turned to my wife and said "I can't believe that worked." He was a few feet away and heard. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2009 at 6:40pm / United States (Washington) / Transportation

Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was "Best positions for a small penis." FML

by wtf / 07/12/2009 at 12:20pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML

by onething / 07/08/2009 at 1:06pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, McDonalds charged me 21 cents for a honey mustard packet. The jerk manager made me break a $50 bill. So I grabbed all their napkins, carried them into the parking lot and tossed them all into the air in protest and drove off. Down the road, I realized I left my wallet at the counter. FML

by Jesse / 06/22/2009 at 12:18pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML

by KL / 06/05/2009 at 3:46pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I finally beat the song "Through the Fire and Flames" on Guitar Hero 3. I then realized that it was the biggest accomplishment I've ever made in my entire life. FML

by Nick / 05/13/2009 at 6:20pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Geek