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Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29761) - you deserved it (2063)
On 10/19/2010 at 11:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15303) - you deserved it (18523)
On 10/17/2010 at 2:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I woke up to a broken window and 3 guys sitting in my living room watching TV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27885) - you deserved it (1957)
On 10/11/2010 at 11:06pm - misc - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24282) - you deserved it (6982)
On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I was making my bed which would normally be a simple task, until I leaned into the wooden foot of my bed, and put my entire body weight on my left nut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16481) - you deserved it (7595)
On 10/08/2010 at 6:53am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6515) - you deserved it (27865)
On 10/06/2010 at 7:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 months decided to wrestle with my younger brother. He has gotten more action than I have. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21413) - you deserved it (5215)
On 09/03/2010 at 4:30am - love - by lonleystoner91 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I had a stomach virus. I tried to make myself throw up to feel better. My long nails sliced open my throat from the inside, and I threw up blood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9229) - you deserved it (39656)
On 09/02/2010 at 12:03pm - health - by Sickie. (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27772) - you deserved it (8841)
On 08/01/2010 at 4:45am - kids - by kfoehslfns - United States (Oregon)
Today, I fell asleep on the couch and must have rolled off. When I woke up, I noticed my braces were stuck to the rug. After frantically pulling, my mom finally sawed me off the rug with scissors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27071) - you deserved it (2900)
On 07/03/2010 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I fell asleep on the couch and must have rolled off. When I woke up, I noticed my braces were stuck to the rug. After frantically pulling, my mom finally sawed me off the rug with scissors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27071) - you deserved it (2900)
On 07/03/2010 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14993) - you deserved it (44102)
On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13906) - you deserved it (18552)
On 05/23/2010 at 5:21am - misc - by Oops (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump while using my laptop. I sat on the toilet seat and let a big load go. Turns out I forgot to unwrap the towel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6100) - you deserved it (48226)
On 04/16/2010 at 8:34am - health - by TowelSmellsNice (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26807) - you deserved it (2758)
On 03/17/2010 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Sunday 12 May 2013
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