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Slovenian
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3203
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

#18145171
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60374) - you deserved it (4435)

On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was rear-ended by a girl barely out of her teens. I got out of my car and went to get their insurance details, only for her mother to get out and up in my face, screaming at me to, "Get back in your fucking car and get the fuck out of here!" I panicked and did just that. FML

#18091969
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11718) - you deserved it (30225)

On 10/27/2011 at 9:22pm - misc - by Benjamin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was rear-ended by a girl barely out of her teens. I got out of my car and went to get their insurance details, only for her mother to get out and up in my face, screaming at me to, "Get back in your fucking car and get the fuck out of here!" I panicked and did just that. FML

#18091969
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11718) - you deserved it (30225)

On 10/27/2011 at 9:22pm - misc - by Benjamin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML

#18069827
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27720) - you deserved it (2913)

On 10/25/2011 at 1:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

#18041933
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15441) - you deserved it (43158) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

#18041675
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19194) - you deserved it (32189)

On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15114) - you deserved it (28069)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my roomie had guests over. I didn't feel like socializing, but I really had to piss. So I pissed in the plant in my room, spilled half of it, mopped it up with an old shirt, and went to bed. FML

#18036176
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6449) - you deserved it (46951)

On 10/21/2011 at 12:57am - misc - by crankg - United States (Ohio)

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

#18034396
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27465) - you deserved it (8100)

On 10/20/2011 at 9:24pm - health - by box bulge - China

Today, I went to a concert. I got into a fist fight with a drunk girl. My older brother tried to pull me away from her by holding both my arms back. I spent the last half of the concert in the hospital because I couldn't shield my face. FML

Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking, "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML

#18003683
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28905) - you deserved it (1772)

On 10/17/2011 at 12:20am - health - by blarp - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29149) - you deserved it (5021) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, I was driving home when I saw my boyfriend chundering on the side of the road, into an old lady's shopping basket. FML

#17981114
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17401) - you deserved it (2231)

On 10/14/2011 at 7:22am - love - by Jessy - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

#17973250
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31397) - you deserved it (8857)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:19am - intimacy - by scewable (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML

#17962463
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22979) - you deserved it (2288)

On 10/11/2011 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by dinosaucer - United States (Delaware)



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