Sleepy340

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Sleepy340

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 March 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2019
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Sleepy340's page activity

Visits<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 3:15pm

Sleepy340's FML badges

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I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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Sleepy340's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

by guy / 07/29/2012 at 11:24pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

by guy / 07/29/2012 at 11:24pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had an ovarian cyst rupture at work, causing sudden severe stomach cramps; this caused my bowels to release everything right then and there, while on the phone with a customer, in the middle of the call center surrounded by 200 other sales reps. FML

by sy123 / 07/29/2012 at 7:34pm / United States (Kentucky) / Health

Today, I went to my favorite burger joint. Upon taking the first bite of my burger, I dislocated my jaw, and the waiters had to call 911. FML

by cherknobil / 07/29/2012 at 1:15am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes in, he passed out on top of me from a pain pill overdose and had a mini seizure. He finally woke up and groans, "Those bastards! They confiscated my clothes!" FML

by Lucy / 07/21/2012 at 3:40am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found my husband's journal, and along with it the real reason he took so long to show up to our wedding rehearsals last year. According to the journal, it was because he was too busy wooing a married mother of five and sticking his "slut-banger all up in that fat booty." FML

by divorce? i think so / 07/20/2012 at 10:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

by Rachel / 07/20/2012 at 1:13am / United States / Money

Today, while riding my bike on the sidewalk, I came across a ladder. To avoid bad luck, I swerved around it into the street. I got hit by a car. FML

by magicman / 07/04/2012 at 5:04am / United States / Health

Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2012 at 10:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

by Bad Mommy / 06/21/2012 at 1:40am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, my friend told me she was going to start drinking gatorade, so she could get the body shape of the athletes on TV. When I tried to explain to her that she'd also need to work out to achieve this, she went nuts and hurled the bottle at my face. FML

by phonnah / 06/20/2012 at 1:59pm / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

by anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 10:09am / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, my mom took me to dinner. She told me about an argument that she and her boyfriend had, and she showed me the texts. While reading, I learned that she smells his dick before sucking it. FML

by lisahb / 06/19/2012 at 6:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

by megasniper240 / 06/19/2012 at 11:35am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

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