SleepingSkulls

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SleepingSkulls

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 16 March 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1779
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About SleepingSkulls : Message me if you wanna chat. (:

SleepingSkulls's page activity

Visits<b>DerrickJames</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 2:35am<b>jubejube239</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 10:53pm<b>Shurui</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 5:24am<b>sastiel</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 12:42am<b>momo3p</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 11:01am<b>Iarla_ceapaire93</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 10:00pm<b>Dalboz</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 11:08pm<b>FriskyBananas</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 5:07pm<b>MRVOlivia2</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 10:37am<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 1:22pm<b>kdawg567</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 1:38pm<b>Mackade</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 4:08pm<b>sovietkamikaze</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 10:42pm<b>Rithvikhari</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 11:52pm<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 8:13am<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 2:34am<b>Justine94_x</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 8:34am<b>misterjg540</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 8:26pm

SleepingSkulls's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

SleepingSkulls's favorite FMLs

Today, my maths teacher was giving my whole class a lecture on 'if you don't pay attention at school, you will fail.' She then pointed out out a man working on the roof and said: 'if you don't listen, you will end up like that guy.' That was my dad. FML

by paperbox / 01/16/2011 at 12:07am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found some nude vintage pictures in my house. I decided to beat my meat to them. Later I found out it was my grandma. FML

by Gabriel A / 01/14/2011 at 11:05pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I rented a copy How To Train Your Dragon for my young son to watch. I put the DVD in, hit play without paying attention, and went off to make lunch. A few minutes later, my son ran into the kitchen screaming. Apparently, there was a mix up at the rental store and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 6:21pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 1:20am / United States (Alabama) / Work

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

by lerouxmaster / 12/22/2010 at 6:43am / Kids

Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML

by Jen / 11/08/2010 at 10:36pm / Australia / Money

Today, I learned that everyone at college was calling me "Parallel Lines" because I've got an unibrow and an apparent hairiness over my mouth. By the way, I'm a girl. FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2010 at 1:16pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my sixteen year old son told me that he's following his guidance counselor's advice: to do what his hero does for a living. The problem? His hero is SpongeBob Squarepants. His ambition in life is to become a fry cook. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2010 at 3:15pm / Canada (Quebec) / Kids

Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML

by hdat / 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

by badmom / 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, was the first time my boyfriend slept over. He was hard, so I woke him up by whispering in his ear, "If you could get me to do anything right now, what would it be?" His response, "Can you get me a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream?" He was hard, for ice cream. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 6:57am / Denmark (Roskilde) / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend came over for dinner, but couldn't eat because he had just gotten his tongue pierced. My grandpa heard this, winked at my boyfriend and said "Can't eat now, but I bet that's all you'll be doing in a few weeks..." My super protective father was sitting right next to him. FML

by Anonymous / 03/24/2009 at 6:41am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

by Picaresque / 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, my 14-year-old little sister asked me how I felt when I had my first sexual intercourse. I told her it was personal and was none of her business. She then looked at me and said "I thought it was nice". I'm 19 and I'm still a virgin. FML

by KoNi / 11/21/2008 at 2:23am / Intimacy