Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SleepingSkulls

Search for a member

SleepingSkulls

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 16 March 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1624
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About SleepingSkulls : Message me if you wanna chat. (:

SleepingSkulls's page activity

Visits<b>misterjg540</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 8:26pm<b>odinhasaboner</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 4:12pm<b>skippydoda</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 8:26am<b>whitechick305</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 2:14am<b>DukeOfSojo</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 3:52pm<b>Bgrish</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 2:14am<b>sarah_baby22</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 7:03pm<b>skeeter551</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 12:28pm<b>annabrandl</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 1:40pm<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 11:05am<b>Doubtful_Judge</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 2:43pm<b>lesnot</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 3:38pm<b>Schala360</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 8:12am<b>quangthuchien</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 1:40am<b>Zman2017</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 12:33am<b>Star1398</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 10:05pm<b>_awwhellnaw_</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 5:43am<b>PatriciaAra</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 10:23am

SleepingSkulls's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

SleepingSkulls's favorite FMLs

Today, my maths teacher was giving my whole class a lecture on 'if you don't pay attention at school, you will fail.' She then pointed out out a man working on the roof and said: 'if you don't listen, you will end up like that guy.' That was my dad. FML

#14596121
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47969) - you deserved it (3109)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:07am - misc - by paperbox (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found some nude vintage pictures in my house. I decided to beat my meat to them. Later I found out it was my grandma. FML

#14583340
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17182) - you deserved it (80043)

On 01/14/2011 at 11:05pm - intimacy - by Gabriel A - United States (Ohio)

Today, I rented a copy How To Train Your Dragon for my young son to watch. I put the DVD in, hit play without paying attention, and went off to make lunch. A few minutes later, my son ran into the kitchen screaming. Apparently, there was a mix up at the rental store and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML

#14337359
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41605) - you deserved it (11118)

On 12/25/2010 at 6:21pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

#14330238
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32130) - you deserved it (3385)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

#14295570
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35584) - you deserved it (8750)

On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -

Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML

#13771276
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33927) - you deserved it (2540)

On 11/08/2010 at 10:36pm - money - by Jen - Australia

Today, I learned that everyone at college was calling me "Parallel Lines" because I've got an unibrow and an apparent hairiness over my mouth. By the way, I'm a girl. FML

#13764859
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25418) - you deserved it (14985)

On 11/08/2010 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my sixteen year old son told me that he's following his guidance counselor's advice: to do what his hero does for a living. The problem? His hero is SpongeBob Squarepants. His ambition in life is to become a fry cook. FML

#13753652
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27725) - you deserved it (4347)

On 11/07/2010 at 3:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML

#2801625
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70064) - you deserved it (15542)

On 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by hdat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
825 comments

I agree, your life sucks (128511) - you deserved it (77675)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, was the first time my boyfriend slept over. He was hard, so I woke him up by whispering in his ear, "If you could get me to do anything right now, what would it be?" His response, "Can you get me a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream?" He was hard, for ice cream. FML

#796912
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84819) - you deserved it (14064)

On 04/04/2009 at 6:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Denmark (Roskilde)

Today, my boyfriend came over for dinner, but couldn't eat because he had just gotten his tongue pierced. My grandpa heard this, winked at my boyfriend and said "Can't eat now, but I bet that's all you'll be doing in a few weeks..." My super protective father was sitting right next to him. FML

#572670
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80409) - you deserved it (8972)

On 03/24/2009 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (269072) - you deserved it (63232)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my 14-year-old little sister asked me how I felt when I had my first sexual intercourse. I told her it was personal and was none of her business. She then looked at me and said "I thought it was nice". I'm 19 and I'm still a virgin. FML

#353
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50197) - you deserved it (5975)

On 11/21/2008 at 2:23am - intimacy - by KoNi - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: