Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SleepingSkulls

Search for a member

SleepingSkulls
  • Town/Country : Spanish Harlem, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 16 March 1995 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1086
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About SleepingSkulls : Message me if you wanna chat. (:

SleepingSkulls's last visitors

showmeyourearsiop330SmexiiBaconZephyrrrOhthatsnastyezrocks4uMornaiDeoVolenteGenuine_GStarcatch77

SleepingSkulls's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

SleepingSkulls's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42535) - you deserved it (6477)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
695 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67717) - you deserved it (14662)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

#15426482
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44881) - you deserved it (25754)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34813) - you deserved it (30430)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33479) - you deserved it (47497)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML

#15398872
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44835) - you deserved it (8003)

On 03/20/2011 at 12:10pm - kids - by parenting_failure (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I finally got the courage to say to my boyfriend that I feel invisible and ignored. To this he said 'You aren't invisible, I mean, look at that nose.' FML

#15365098
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34589) - you deserved it (7007)

On 03/18/2011 at 8:36am - love - by anon -

Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML

#15364776
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29141) - you deserved it (9058)

On 03/18/2011 at 7:28am - misc - by karmavictim -

Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

#15339337
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39947) - you deserved it (10763)

On 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm - kids - by WTF -

Today, my husband bought a horse. We don't own any furniture, but we have a flippin' horse. FML

#15317842
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48012) - you deserved it (6233)

On 03/15/2011 at 2:01am - money - by neverthefirst -

Today, I lost my cat. It's deaf, so no matter what I do it can't hear me. FML

#15251582
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37579) - you deserved it (4132)

On 03/09/2011 at 3:03pm - animals - by blahhlovely_30 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I lost my cat. It's deaf, so no matter what I do it can't hear me. FML

#15251582
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37579) - you deserved it (4132)

On 03/09/2011 at 3:03pm - animals - by blahhlovely_30 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

#15251032
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45950) - you deserved it (4141)

On 03/09/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by crazystar69 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend called me and dumped me. Thirty minutes later he called asking for me back. When I asked why, he said "The other girl dumped me." FML

#15248393
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39276) - you deserved it (3772)

On 03/09/2011 at 3:27am - love - by life_isnt_fair (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, as I couldn't get the airplane seat buckle to buckle, I faced the fact that I've been in denial about how fat I have become. The people in my row faced it too as I began to sob uncontrollably. FML

#15240526
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16857) - you deserved it (30506)

On 03/08/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: