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Skulll's favorite FMLs
Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML
by Catscratch / 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I had to give a speech on the importance of dental hygiene. I got really nervous, so I did what I've heard in movies. I pictured everyone naked, began staring at a hot blonde in the front, and got hard. FML
by SOdamnNervous / 08/29/2009 at 2:06pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML
by mariokarter / 08/28/2009 at 12:41am / United Kingdom (London) / Transportation
by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Ouch / 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
Today, I was pretending to use the force to operate the elevator at my hotel, getting really into it. Someone was waiting to get on at my floor and saw me. Not to mention the staff now brings it up every time I'm around. Apparently they have cameras in their elevators. FML
by beckzx58 / 08/06/2009 at 7:16pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 7:11am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I found out if you slide down the stairs on a foam matress topper, it just folds under instead of sliding. Then you slide the rest of the way down on your knees and break your nose at the bottom. FML
by ohhmydamn / 07/31/2009 at 5:12pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by shandrith / 07/03/2009 at 10:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML
by Anonymous / 06/19/2009 at 1:26am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
by Slash / 06/16/2009 at 12:43pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, my adorable 8 year old son told me he no longer wanted me to pick him up from school. When I asked why, he said, "I told everyone at school my mommy is pretty... and I don't want people to know I lied." FML
by andthatshowitgoes / 06/14/2009 at 1:42am / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/13/2009 at 2:40am / United States (New York) / Work
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…