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Skulll's FML badges
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Skulll's favorite FMLs
Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML
by Anonymous / 09/20/2011 at 5:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I married the man of my dreams. At the after-party, my psycho grandma stood up, called for quiet, and engaged in a long rant about how this was "the beginning of the end" and advising everyone that the secret to a successful marriage is "cheating, plain and simple". FML
by Anonymous / 08/21/2011 at 4:18pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML
by W1D0 / 08/20/2011 at 2:23am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
Today, I was helping some friends put supplies in my crush's car for our picnic. His girlfriend cracked a joke about me, so I just sarcastically laughed and slammed the door shut. Now she has three broken fingers, and I have a reputation as a psychopath. FML
by friendly_neighbourhood_psycho / 08/19/2011 at 6:47pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Transportation
Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML
by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm / United States / Kids
by James / 07/22/2011 at 1:00am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by mike oxsmall / 06/16/2011 at 1:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I discovered that my new boyfriend is the type of guy who, when there is a conflict, will just scream "I LOVE YOU" over and over hoping that it will solve itself instead of actually trying to work the problem out. FML
by sad / 05/05/2011 at 10:40am / United Kingdom (Somerset) / Love
by alchy / 05/02/2011 at 12:46am / United States / Miscellaneous
by dirtyclothess / 05/01/2011 at 8:01pm / Miscellaneous
Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to take a pair of scissors to all my bras. My mom can't take me shopping for another three days and I have no one to borrow a bra from. I have school. FML
by Anonymous / 05/01/2011 at 12:11pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
by nothanks / 05/01/2011 at 10:30am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Steve.mc / 05/01/2011 at 3:03am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They… 2Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 3Today, my flatmate came home from a date with the same guy that I have been in love with since high…
- Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up… Today, while making love to my boyfriend for the first time, I moaned his name. He freaked out over… Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job."…
- Today, I was watching horror stories alone in my room. It got to the climax of the story and my cat… Today, I came home from college which is a 6 hour flight to surprise my parents. They had gotten a… Today, we were pulling up to KFC when my mom asked what I would want. I said I wanted a breast, to…