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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that black people aren't all lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19754) - you deserved it (1496)
On 04/19/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by MI3 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML
I agree, your life sucks (11632) - you deserved it (29654)
On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15651) - you deserved it (2007)
On 04/05/2012 at 12:13am - work - by Kait - United States
Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15651) - you deserved it (2007)
On 04/05/2012 at 12:13am - work - by Kait - United States
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9634) - you deserved it (19965)
On 04/04/2012 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was woken up by a call from "the Nuisance Call Prevention Registry". The lady on the telephone didn't see the irony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15294) - you deserved it (1253)
On 04/04/2012 at 6:58am - misc - by Telemarket (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17317) - you deserved it (3867)
On 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm - misc - by Grubendol - United States (Louisiana)
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26434) - you deserved it (3638)
On 12/15/2011 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, realizing how poor I am, I decided to steal gas. The only place I was brave enough to steal from was my parents' lawn mower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7379) - you deserved it (22982)
On 12/15/2011 at 10:49am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)
Today, my boyfriend insisted that the dog stay in our bedroom while we had sex. He said it would prove his dominance, and "show the dog who's boss." My boyfriend needs to prove his self-worth to an animal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26546) - you deserved it (3336)
On 12/10/2011 at 2:23am - intimacy - by HBC - United States (Texas)
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27822) - you deserved it (4478)
On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was so hungry that I literally stole candy from a baby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7784) - you deserved it (28599)
On 11/21/2011 at 9:34am - health - by bad karma (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24678) - you deserved it (10780)
On 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by HOe HOe HOe (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24485) - you deserved it (2767)
On 10/13/2011 at 3:20pm - love - by Eet- (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)
Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5849) - you deserved it (42721)
Monday 17 June 2013
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