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SkoomaKi

Offline (the 09/28/2014 at 10:41am) | Search for a member

SkoomaKi

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6689
  • Number of comments : 1781
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 41 posted

About SkoomaKi : (Skuu-ma-kee)

Lurked since early 2010, then I finally decided to make an account in 2011.

I like all regular commenters =)

Enjoy my tales.

The Moderators - Stories tell of Gods who walk among the FML commenters, keeping peace and prosperity throughout the community.

Perdix - Some say he is commenter who has been here since the beginning of FML, even the universe.

DocBastard - Legends tell of a medically fascinated doctor. Not much is known about him, just his intellect.

NoorFML - No one knows much about her, except her relations with Ezio (her husband). She is also a ninja.

Baustigt - Tales tell of an owner just as crazy as her dog. The dog, named Dula, can destroy worlds.

KyleeKay – Myths explain this girl’s obsession with the workings of human emotion. Her rational and ideal advice is wise to follow.

ManInTheMachine – A cyborg whom's consciousness is formed by it's computer program forming random code.

SkoomaKi's page activity

Visits<b>PatriciaAra</b> - 13 hours ago<b>KaylaRox1908</b> - yesterday at 1:22am<b>kayydb7</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 1:30pm<b>Zx_MaSsAcRe_xZ</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 4:37pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 9:36am<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 7:11am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 12:20pm<b>shaar</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 11:56am<b>katejanek</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 9:33am<b>42LifeUniverse</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 8:42pm<b>Indatshirt</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 9:28am<b>allie2590</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 7:31pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 10:28am<b>TheEmoSuperman</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 11:37pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:17pm<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 7:40pm<b>ak97</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 12:34pm<b>Le_Rabbid</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 5:45pm

Liked!<b>Zx_MaSsAcRe_xZ</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 10:38pm

SkoomaKi's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of SkoomaKi's badges

SkoomaKi's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML

#19350596
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27722) - you deserved it (4899)

On 03/26/2012 at 10:54am - kids - by ohhdear.___. (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML

#19344885
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21246) - you deserved it (3823)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I finally got the guts to text this cute girl at school. I started sending flirtatious texts, only to find out the hard way that she'd given me her boyfriend's number. FML

#19344485
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24045) - you deserved it (6626)

On 03/25/2012 at 12:06pm - love - by Mark Allan (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

#19330918
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47178) - you deserved it (4594)

On 03/23/2012 at 1:55am - intimacy - by mrricecakes (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realised that I've been working in an all-male environment for too long when my supervisor walked into the canteen visibly scratching his balls, and this seemed like a completely normal occurrence. FML

#19319680
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18312) - you deserved it (2377)

On 03/21/2012 at 9:25am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I realised that I've been working in an all-male environment for too long when my supervisor walked into the canteen visibly scratching his balls, and this seemed like a completely normal occurrence. FML

#19319680
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18312) - you deserved it (2377)

On 03/21/2012 at 9:25am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I asked a co-worker if he'd cover for me while I slipped out to cash some money at the bank. When I got back, I found out that when he said "yeah, sure" he actually meant "yeah, sure, I'll tell the boss and get your dumb arse suspended". FML

#19282495
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18207) - you deserved it (10936)

On 03/15/2012 at 12:13pm - work - by davey d (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

#19277345
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10479) - you deserved it (32079)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States

Today, while at work, a man came up to me and screamed that I was the devil's child, pointing at the tattoo on my wrist the whole time. I just stood there while he prayed for my soul. FML

Today, I had to use the restroom while at work. I had the choice of the stall with a broken lock, or the stall with a huge crack in the partition wall. Not two minutes after I sat down, I noticed someone peeking in. FML

#19233138
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21419) - you deserved it (2097)

On 03/07/2012 at 1:24pm - work - by Me - United States

Today, I was very cold and tired, so I took a shower to warm up and went to bed. The minute I hopped into bed, it collapsed and broke. I have spent half-an-hour rearranging furniture to get the mattress on to the floor. Now I'm cold again. FML

#19173617
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20807) - you deserved it (2884)

On 02/27/2012 at 7:36am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

#19130391
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25674) - you deserved it (8133)

On 02/21/2012 at 10:33am - health - by mary (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML

#19085877
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28239) - you deserved it (2353)

On 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML

#18617176
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25344) - you deserved it (3838)

On 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to drive my girlfriend to the hospital because she had a severe allergic reaction to the flowers I brought her. FML

#18615763
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28873) - you deserved it (4707)

On 12/26/2011 at 12:56pm - love - by flowerman - United States



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