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SkoomaKi

Offline (the 07/28/2015 at 11:25pm) | Search for a member

SkoomaKi

49Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8994
  • Number of comments : 1781
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 41 posted

About SkoomaKi : (Skuu-ma-kee)

Lurked since early 2010, then I finally decided to make an account in 2011.

I like all regular commenters =)

Enjoy my tales.

The Moderators - Stories tell of Gods who walk among the FML commenters, keeping peace and prosperity throughout the community.

Perdix - Some say he is commenter who has been here since the beginning of FML, even the universe.

DocBastard - Legends tell of a medically fascinated doctor. Not much is known about him, just his intellect.

NoorFML - No one knows much about her, except her relations with Ezio (her husband). She is also a ninja.

Baustigt - Tales tell of an owner just as crazy as her dog. The dog, named Dula, can destroy worlds.

KyleeKay – Myths explain this girl’s obsession with the workings of human emotion. Her rational and ideal advice is wise to follow.

ManInTheMachine – A cyborg whom's consciousness is formed by it's computer program forming random code.

SkoomaKi's page activity

Visits<b>XxPojoxX</b> - 5 hours ago<b>buckstop1</b> - yesterday at 10:21pm<b>daemonmatrix</b> - yesterday at 1:39pm<b>TheAnon1313</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 6:31pm<b>sammiaaron</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 5:40am<b>jojocircus19</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 10:04pm<b>walker9879</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 5:37pm<b>lui_pg</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 1:32am<b>Myorafield</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 11:46pm<b>Michaelaarnett</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 10:49pm<b>KhaleesiDannie</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 12:59pm<b>FriskyBananas</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 5:27pm<b>PotterHead_DH</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 7:55am<b>extrasnipes</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 6:48am<b>Mel_ham</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 11:14pm<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 12:12pm<b>soveryunoriginal</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 2:03am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 1:23am

Fucked!<b>jojocircus19</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 4:04am<b>Michaelaarnett</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 4:50am<b>minkyman1935</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 2:36pm<b>HowlingFire</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 10:24pm<b>soveryunoriginal</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 6:52am<b>Tacogamer20</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 8:23pm<b>walker9879</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 11:30pm<b>PotatoesAndCake</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 12:55am<b>Myorafield</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 3:09am<b>bps2007</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 2:08pm<b>marigavino</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 4:46pm<b>Val0</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 2:54pm<b>Venister</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 6:08am<b>caaguilar</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 3:41am<b>kiwi15499</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 7:17am<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 11:34pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 6:39am<b>totallynotemily</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 12:15am

SkoomaKi's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of SkoomaKi's badges

SkoomaKi's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML

#19521815
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7812) - you deserved it (28056)

On 04/24/2012 at 12:36pm - health - by monkeycannon7 - United States (Virginia)

Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML

#19521311
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11420) - you deserved it (27119)

On 04/24/2012 at 10:03am - intimacy - by mmmtortilla (woman) - Spain (Pais Vasco)

Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML

#19520767
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9189) - you deserved it (68014)

On 04/24/2012 at 4:29am - work - by xharmonyx - United States

Today, I left my number on my receipt for a cute waitress. As I was leaving the bar, she came running out and called me over. I obviously got excited. Turns out I'd forgotten to sign my slip. FML

#19516000
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11772) - you deserved it (20581)

On 04/23/2012 at 9:22am - love - by Dave (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking across a pedestrian crossing and waved at the driver of the car who'd stopped, just to say thank you. She stuck her middle finger up at me. FML

#19515959
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22986) - you deserved it (2732)

On 04/23/2012 at 9:00am - misc - by hoggypig -

Today, due to nervousness, I threw up while proposing to my girlfriend. FML

#19515625
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36339) - you deserved it (3614)

On 04/23/2012 at 5:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I realized just how awful my relationships have been when I discovered I emotionally connect with women on Jerry Springer. FML

#19511364
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20357) - you deserved it (5533)

On 04/22/2012 at 2:14pm - love - by Coquette (woman) - United States

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

#19511225
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24551) - you deserved it (2581)

On 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out the bed I sleep in is the bed I was conceived in. FML

Today, I found out the bed I sleep in is the bed I was conceived in. FML

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

#19509709
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30186) - you deserved it (12067)

On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

#19509709
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30186) - you deserved it (12067)

On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

#19509709
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30186) - you deserved it (12067)

On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)

Today, I discovered I have really bad dandruff. I learned this when I went indoor mini golfing and my whole upper body lit up like a Christmas tree underneath the black light. Among my friends I'm now known as the abominable snowman. FML

#19509348
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23541) - you deserved it (4255)

On 04/22/2012 at 1:24am - health - by Andrew7847 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my fiancé has been cheating on me for the past month. The lady he has been seeing is a choreographer that was teaching him how to dance salsa for our wedding rehearsal. FML

#19509327
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33346) - you deserved it (2424)

On 04/22/2012 at 1:20am - love - by Gennifer - United States (New Jersey)



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