SkoomaKi

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Offline (the 05/12/2016 at 5:25pm)

SkoomaKi

59Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12024
  • Number of comments : 1781
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 41 posted

About SkoomaKi : (Skuu-ma-kee)

Lurked since early 2010, then I finally decided to make an account in 2011.

I like all regular commenters =)

Enjoy my tales.

The Moderators - Stories tell of Gods who walk among the FML commenters, keeping peace and prosperity throughout the community.

Perdix - Some say he is commenter who has been here since the beginning of FML, even the universe.

DocBastard - Legends tell of a medically fascinated doctor. Not much is known about him, just his intellect.

NoorFML - No one knows much about her, except her relations with Ezio (her husband). She is also a ninja.

Baustigt - Tales tell of an owner just as crazy as her dog. The dog, named Dula, can destroy worlds.

KyleeKay – Myths explain this girl’s obsession with the workings of human emotion. Her rational and ideal advice is wise to follow.

ManInTheMachine – A cyborg whom's consciousness is formed by it's computer program forming random code.

SkoomaKi's page activity

Visits<b>SOILEDIT</b> - 8 hours ago<b>WhiteRhino55</b> - the 11/14/2016 at 2:17pm<b>helixlord</b> - the 11/08/2016 at 8:40am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 10/27/2016 at 2:08am<b>Notesz_b</b> - the 10/20/2016 at 11:23pm<b>Lucky7112</b> - the 10/14/2016 at 12:52am<b>stingray112</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 5:50pm<b>RectumRecker</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 3:05pm<b>lalalandofnot</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 1:14pm<b>optimusic</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 10:07pm<b>RockyLovesARacer</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 4:02pm<b>Hooorror</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 3:09pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 9:44pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 8:38am<b>SuperDani</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 1:46am<b>b5b0n36</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 1:07am<b>Chrysic</b> - the 09/01/2016 at 7:14pm<b>Sam611001</b> - the 08/19/2016 at 1:45pm

Fucked!<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 2:38pm<b>b5b0n36</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 7:08am<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 7:00pm<b>AlexOrban</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 6:54am<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 9:35pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 9:22am<b>igottapee</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 7:31am<b>ADOG2645</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 8:18pm<b>stingray112</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 9:16pm<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 9:03pm<b>jojocircus19</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 4:04am<b>Michaelaarnett</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 4:50am<b>minkyman1935</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 2:36pm<b>HowlingFire</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 10:24pm<b>soveryunoriginal</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 6:52am<b>Tacogamer20</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 8:23pm<b>walker9879</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 11:30pm<b>PotatoesAndCake</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 12:55am

SkoomaKi's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of SkoomaKi's badges

SkoomaKi's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML

by monkeycannon7 / 04/24/2012 at 12:36pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML

by mmmtortilla / 04/24/2012 at 10:03am / Spain (Pais Vasco) / Intimacy

Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML

by xharmonyx / 04/24/2012 at 4:29am / United States / Work

Today, I left my number on my receipt for a cute waitress. As I was leaving the bar, she came running out and called me over. I obviously got excited. Turns out I'd forgotten to sign my slip. FML

by Dave / 04/23/2012 at 9:22am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was walking across a pedestrian crossing and waved at the driver of the car who'd stopped, just to say thank you. She stuck her middle finger up at me. FML

by hoggypig / 04/23/2012 at 9:00am / Miscellaneous

Today, due to nervousness, I threw up while proposing to my girlfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 04/23/2012 at 5:51am / United States / Love

Today, I realized just how awful my relationships have been when I discovered I emotionally connect with women on Jerry Springer. FML

by Coquette / 04/22/2012 at 2:14pm / United States / Love

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I found out the bed I sleep in is the bed I was conceived in. FML

by Capteen / 04/22/2012 at 8:17am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out the bed I sleep in is the bed I was conceived in. FML

by Capteen / 04/22/2012 at 8:17am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

by ultraattitude / 04/22/2012 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

by ultraattitude / 04/22/2012 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

by ultraattitude / 04/22/2012 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered I have really bad dandruff. I learned this when I went indoor mini golfing and my whole upper body lit up like a Christmas tree underneath the black light. Among my friends I'm now known as the abominable snowman. FML

by Andrew7847 / 04/22/2012 at 1:24am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I found out my fiancé has been cheating on me for the past month. The lady he has been seeing is a choreographer that was teaching him how to dance salsa for our wedding rehearsal. FML

by Gennifer / 04/22/2012 at 1:20am / United States (New Jersey) / Love