About SixthSinEnvy : Follow the wisps to the yellow brick road winding down the rabbit hole. If you have puppies or dogs as your profile picture I'm going to get a closer look. I loveses the fuzzy bebehs. The ginger one in mine is Loki the spaztastic Vizsla. He's my friend's dog/my snuggle butt. Also, people who work in the service industry automatically get my sympathy on FMLs. People who give up animals for a relationship automatically deserve it. About my third picture? StormfrontX33. What a little bitch. Sends messages like the one in my pictures and blocks you if you argue against his comment, especially if he's being downvoted. Likes to sound smart by using "apparently" twice in a row. Let's all give a round of applause for the troll. He tried.
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SixthSinEnvy's favorite FMLs
Today, I nearly got written up at work for missing an important memo. The memo was sent to everyone via the company Facebook group and not by our e-mail system. My manager could hardly believe people exist who have no Facebook account and have no intention of making one. FML
by Anonymous / 10/12/2015 at 11:43am / United States (California) / Work
by shh / 10/09/2015 at 3:06am / United States (Arizona) / Kids
Today, I learned that your crotch can just light up on the body scanner in the airport for no apparent reason; and when that happens, a thorough pat down of that area will be performed by a confused security officer. FML
by Traveler / 10/08/2015 at 10:06pm / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/08/2015 at 11:10am / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, at the swimming pool, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up on my 5-year-old daughter underwater and surprise her. I grabbed her by the sides, and she shrieked. A moment later, a brown cloud erupted from her swimsuit. Cue screaming and a mass panic from the other kids. FML
by Anonymous / 10/03/2015 at 3:00am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
Today, my dog was all over me, and I couldn't help but notice she kept sniffing towards my boobs. Turns out, she wasn't there to get love from me. She was there for a piece of food that I didn't notice had fallen in my bra. FML
by FereldonBorn / 10/01/2015 at 6:41am / United States (California) / Animals
by Anonymous / 09/24/2015 at 1:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML
by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked face first into a near-invisible spiderweb. There's nothing worse than the feeling of a spider web wrapped around your face. Except maybe the feeling of the spider that saw my screaming mouth as a good hiding spot. FML
by spiderlady / 09/20/2015 at 11:00pm / United States / Animals
by shitfaced / 09/18/2015 at 1:30pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Love
Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whisky, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML
by FML / 09/04/2015 at 12:27pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I agreed to stay a week with my wife's parents, who she told me were traditional Japanese. I was prepared for having to wear Japanese clothes while in the house, but I wasn't prepared for communal bathing in the same huge bath with her father, grandfather, uncle and two brothers. FML
by Alan / 09/02/2015 at 4:13pm / Germany / Miscellaneous
Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went to sit on the side of the bed and beckon her over. Instead, I sat heavily on my balls, screamed, then fell off the bed sobbing like a girl. FML
by Anonymous / 08/25/2015 at 3:32am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML
by BarhydtBran / 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Work
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…