About SirJamie77 : I've covered wars y'know.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25388) - you deserved it (36784)
On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States
Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23220) - you deserved it (4128)
On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States
Today, I watched my neighbor bring his dogs into my yard to let them empty their piss-pipes and poop-chutes. He does this twice a day. I put a "cut it out" sign up. His dogs peed on the sign and knocked it down. My lawn is a landmine of dog logs and I don't know what to do, besides installing actual landmines. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21428) - you deserved it (3872)
On 08/22/2011 at 10:57am - animals - by rearwindow - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I was in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22481) - you deserved it (3167)
On 08/19/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by shitless88 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, after being in love with one of my best friends for ages, he took me on a date. We then went back to his place and we made love. Afterwards, he told me he wanted to show me something and led me outside. He ran back in and locked the door. It's a two hour walk home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44841) - you deserved it (4970)
On 07/19/2011 at 7:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, I got trapped in a glass elevator at the mall. My father walked right by the elevator, laughed and went into a store. A fireman got me out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25177) - you deserved it (2210)
On 07/05/2011 at 6:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to my Playstation 3 and my laptop missing and window open. My dad faked a robbery to see me freak out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27906) - you deserved it (5808)
On 06/06/2011 at 3:06am - misc - by dwhite032 - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13762) - you deserved it (30778)
On 06/05/2011 at 4:45pm - misc - by - United States
Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44963) - you deserved it (6763)
On 05/24/2011 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by asnolt (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got a paper cut from a 'get well soon' card. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30450) - you deserved it (3930)
On 05/12/2011 at 3:54am - health - by Anonymous -
Today, I was told that I am an incredibly boring person and that it's no wonder I have no friends. I think they're right; last night I dreamt about a nail file. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23605) - you deserved it (5037)
On 05/06/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by goinginsane -
Today, I heard my asshole neighbor had died of a stroke. I was outside and said, "Well it's about goddamn time!" I turned around to see his wife walking her dog and staring deep into my soul. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5390) - you deserved it (45367)
On 01/10/2011 at 3:25am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)
Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13929) - you deserved it (37215)
On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, after already having a terrible day, I went to Starbucks for an espresso. Being nice, I put the last dollar I had in my wallet in their tip jar. While paying for my drink, my card was denied for insufficient funds. The world hates me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22515) - you deserved it (4226)
On 08/15/2010 at 4:20pm - money - by noespresso (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41552) - you deserved it (7654)
On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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