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SirJamie77

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SirJamie77
  • Town/Country : England
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3088
  • Number of comments : 94
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About SirJamie77 : I've covered wars y'know.

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SirJamie77's favorite FMLs

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
670 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25862) - you deserved it (37482)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24081) - you deserved it (4187)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, I watched my neighbor bring his dogs into my yard to let them empty their piss-pipes and poop-chutes. He does this twice a day. I put a "cut it out" sign up. His dogs peed on the sign and knocked it down. My lawn is a landmine of dog logs and I don't know what to do, besides installing actual landmines. FML

Today, I was in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML

#17522944
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22998) - you deserved it (3199)

On 08/19/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by shitless88 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after being in love with one of my best friends for ages, he took me on a date. We then went back to his place and we made love. Afterwards, he told me he wanted to show me something and led me outside. He ran back in and locked the door. It's a two hour walk home. FML

#17174791
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47466) - you deserved it (6134)

On 07/19/2011 at 7:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I got trapped in a glass elevator at the mall. My father walked right by the elevator, laughed and went into a store. A fireman got me out. FML

#16990171
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28874) - you deserved it (2845)

On 07/05/2011 at 6:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my Playstation 3 and my laptop missing and window open. My dad faked a robbery to see me freak out. FML

#16525233
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31663) - you deserved it (6179)

On 06/06/2011 at 3:06am - misc - by dwhite032 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

#16516164
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15939) - you deserved it (40246)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:45pm - misc - by - United States

Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML

#16331288
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45794) - you deserved it (6806)

On 05/24/2011 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by asnolt (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a paper cut from a 'get well soon' card. FML

#16140473
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34569) - you deserved it (4998)

On 05/12/2011 at 3:54am - health - by Anonymous -

Today, I was told that I am an incredibly boring person and that it's no wonder I have no friends. I think they're right; last night I dreamt about a nail file. FML

#16064729
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26819) - you deserved it (6330)

On 05/06/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by goinginsane -

Today, I heard my asshole neighbor had died of a stroke. I was outside and said, "Well it's about goddamn time!" I turned around to see his wife walking her dog and staring deep into my soul. FML

#14529858
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6904) - you deserved it (58725)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:25am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML

#13927798
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14243) - you deserved it (37873)

On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after already having a terrible day, I went to Starbucks for an espresso. Being nice, I put the last dollar I had in my wallet in their tip jar. While paying for my drink, my card was denied for insufficient funds. The world hates me. FML

#12542029
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23102) - you deserved it (4272)

On 08/15/2010 at 4:20pm - money - by noespresso (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

#9416886
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42432) - you deserved it (7704)

On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)



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