About SirEskimo : I'm just here to laugh, and occasionally make others laugh with me.
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SirEskimo's favorite FMLs
Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML
by Rob / 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by whattheheck / 06/04/2012 at 12:34am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
by Monkey253100 / 06/03/2012 at 10:47am / France / Health
by Anonymous / 06/02/2012 at 6:24am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy
by ironyisabitch / 06/02/2012 at 1:43am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while sitting in my Forensic Psychology class, my professor listed all of the main traits that indicate someone may very well be a sociopath. Every single trait described my fiancé perfectly. FML
by Getmeout / 05/31/2012 at 2:50am / United States (Virginia) / Love
by Brax / 05/30/2012 at 5:46am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML
by iPhonekid / 05/27/2012 at 3:19am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by ilovemymomma / 05/26/2012 at 3:15am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a woman asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML
by Atheist / 03/22/2012 at 12:56am / United States (Oregon) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/14/2012 at 12:24am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by nickthetank / 12/31/2011 at 4:21am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
Today, I heard my next door neighbour screaming as if someone was trying to slice her throat. Her window was open. Intrigued, I went onto my balcony and asked if everything was okay, and if she needed anything. She and her boyfriend shout back in unison: "We're F*ing, go away". FML
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…