SirEskimo

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SirEskimo

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2251
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About SirEskimo : I'm just here to laugh, and occasionally make others laugh with me.

SirEskimo's page activity

Visits<b>TheRealStunts</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 3:16am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 1:07pm<b>Emmalyne606777</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 9:47pm<b>alexjoseph5575</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 6:25pm<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 3:06pm<b>idance22</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 12:42pm<b>pokemyeyes</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 9:30pm<b>imhope</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 11:09pm<b>dandee_one</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 11:47pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 12:16pm<b>heatherma</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 6:39pm<b>Honeydip804</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 1:31am<b>aegis932</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 1:53am<b>natepowers</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 7:10pm<b>swasher</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 7:59am<b>maria95aa</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 5:04pm<b>gingerJ</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 4:43pm<b>Jaager</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 1:22pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 7:07pm<b>imhope</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 5:09am<b>Honeydip804</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 7:31am

SirEskimo's FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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SirEskimo's favorite FMLs

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

by ihateveganism / 08/22/2012 at 12:19am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer, until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML

by scared to leave the house / 08/20/2012 at 5:14am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was taking my driver's test, my instructor received a text message. He promptly had a panic attack and screamed for me to pull over. It turned out his wife wanted a divorce. The last 15 minutes of my test consisted of him sobbing to himself as I drove back to the DMV. FML

by Samantha / 08/16/2012 at 6:36pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out with a friend to grab some food and we were served by this really cute and fun waiter. Stepping out of my comfort zone and deciding to do something crazy, I left my phone number on the bill. I got home only to realize that I forgot to pay the bill. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2012 at 7:39am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, while I was getting intimate with my husband, he moaned someone else's name. He actually tried to explain himself by saying that he'd had a "divine encounter," and while "possessed by the Lord," he'd been told the name of our future daughter. FML

by lils / 08/05/2012 at 1:45pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to ride a bike with no training wheels. After comforting her and assuring her that she'd be fine, I gave her a big push. She fell forward over the handlebars and scraped her chin on the front wheel. FML

by me / 08/04/2012 at 3:14pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Kids

Today, as I sat down for my flight, I realised that the passenger I had to sit next to for the next seven hours was wearing a necklace made from tampon packaging. FML

by lotd / 07/31/2012 at 7:28pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML

by clayton / 07/27/2012 at 8:30pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, my neighbors are moving. As we were saying our goodbyes, their 12-year-old son approached and thanked me for the times I forgot to shut the blinds and he watched me change. FML

by oops123 / 07/16/2012 at 10:38am / United States / Kids

Today, I walked too close to a first-aid kit sticking out of a wall at work, and it cut my arm. Laughing at the irony, I opened it to get a band aid out. It was empty. FML

by Ian Artis / 07/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States / Work

Today, I woke up to a nude picture of my girlfriend. Once I looked at it my morning wood went away. FML

by bob / 07/03/2012 at 1:33pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML

by aranya / 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

by ww2freak / 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I volunteered at a soup kitchen. During the rounds, a grisly but nice young fellow told me that I had beautiful eyes. I was quite touched; that is until he leaned in and added, "Can I have them for my collection?" FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2012 at 3:01pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous