SirEskimo

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SirEskimo

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2430
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About SirEskimo : I'm just here to laugh, and occasionally make others laugh with me.

SirEskimo's page activity

Visits<b>ILoveMyDogs420</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 7:43pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 1:40pm<b>jow96</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 11:24pm<b>TheRealStunts</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 3:16am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 1:07pm<b>Emmalyne606777</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 9:47pm<b>alexjoseph5575</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 6:25pm<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 3:06pm<b>idance22</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 12:42pm<b>pokemyeyes</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 9:30pm<b>imhope</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 11:09pm<b>dandee_one</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 11:47pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 12:16pm<b>heatherma</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 6:39pm<b>Honeydip804</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 1:31am<b>aegis932</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 1:53am<b>natepowers</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 7:10pm<b>swasher</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 7:59am

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 7:07pm<b>imhope</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 5:09am<b>Honeydip804</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 7:31am

SirEskimo's FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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SirEskimo's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

by not as scarred as he should be / 10/18/2012 at 2:19pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 8:36am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML

by monkeyzz / 10/12/2012 at 7:11am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Intimacy

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Intimacy

Today, I was on a plane returning to University, and I decided to shut my eyes. I opened them about 45 minutes later just as the plane landed to find I couldn't move at all. I was in sleep paralysis. The air hostesses had to lift me out of my seat. FML

by Dave / 09/27/2012 at 11:46am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I was on a plane returning to University, and I decided to shut my eyes. I opened them about 45 minutes later just as the plane landed to find I couldn't move at all. I was in sleep paralysis. The air hostesses had to lift me out of my seat. FML

by Dave / 09/27/2012 at 11:46am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML

by Fingkids / 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML

by hooligyn123 / 09/04/2012 at 4:53am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML

by weave9z / 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

by WhyAppleWhy / 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

by thekriss / 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm / Love

Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML

by Anonymous / 08/22/2012 at 2:01am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous