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SirEskimo

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SirEskimo
  • Town/Country : New York, America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 814
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About SirEskimo : I'm just here to laugh, and occasionally make others laugh with me.

SirEskimo's last visitors

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I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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SirEskimo's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

#20122551
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22045) - you deserved it (2618)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:19pm - misc - by not as scarred as he should be (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19499) - you deserved it (4649)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27843) - you deserved it (16777)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML

#20113299
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19132) - you deserved it (5285)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:11am - health - by monkeyzz (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

#20092313
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30049) - you deserved it (6157)

On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

#20092313
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30049) - you deserved it (6157)

On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I was on a plane returning to University, and I decided to shut my eyes. I opened them about 45 minutes later just as the plane landed to find I couldn't move at all. I was in sleep paralysis. The air hostesses had to lift me out of my seat. FML

#20090890
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19865) - you deserved it (1246)

On 09/27/2012 at 11:46am - health - by Dave (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was on a plane returning to University, and I decided to shut my eyes. I opened them about 45 minutes later just as the plane landed to find I couldn't move at all. I was in sleep paralysis. The air hostesses had to lift me out of my seat. FML

#20090890
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19865) - you deserved it (1246)

On 09/27/2012 at 11:46am - health - by Dave (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML

#20087243
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14302) - you deserved it (27364)

On 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by Fingkids - United States

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37686) - you deserved it (2942)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML

#20057050
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21705) - you deserved it (977)

On 09/04/2012 at 4:53am - misc - by hooligyn123 - United States

Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML

#20056463
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14545) - you deserved it (1809)

On 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by weave9z (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16627) - you deserved it (42418)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32219) - you deserved it (9797) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML

#20035075
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25977) - you deserved it (1473)

On 08/22/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)



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