SirEskimo

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SirEskimo

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2344
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About SirEskimo : I'm just here to laugh, and occasionally make others laugh with me.

SirEskimo's page activity

Visits<b>jow96</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 11:24pm<b>TheRealStunts</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 3:16am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 1:07pm<b>Emmalyne606777</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 9:47pm<b>alexjoseph5575</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 6:25pm<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 3:06pm<b>idance22</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 12:42pm<b>pokemyeyes</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 9:30pm<b>imhope</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 11:09pm<b>dandee_one</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 11:47pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 12:16pm<b>heatherma</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 6:39pm<b>Honeydip804</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 1:31am<b>aegis932</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 1:53am<b>natepowers</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 7:10pm<b>swasher</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 7:59am<b>maria95aa</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 5:04pm<b>gingerJ</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 4:43pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 7:07pm<b>imhope</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 5:09am<b>Honeydip804</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 7:31am

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SirEskimo's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to show my boyfriend's mom a picture of my prom dress on my phone. She scrolled to the right to find a picture of her son, naked. FML

by beyondembarrassed / 05/05/2013 at 1:44am / United States / Intimacy

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

by future brain bleach addict / 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML

by rawdoglyfe69 / 04/17/2013 at 2:14am / United States (Montana) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm / United States / Health

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Transportation

Today, the Chinese student I've been teaching English to got on stage in front of hundreds of people to read her final essay. She ended with, "What a fucking day." I don't swear, and I no longer have a job. FML

by effiestonem154 / 04/02/2013 at 5:14pm / United States / Work

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

by fuck you dad / 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm / Ireland (Monaghan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss threatened to fire me because of a tattoo I have. It's a small teddy bear on my leg with my parents' names on it. My workplace has no problems with tattoos, but my boss said it was "unoriginal and lame." It's a memorial tattoo; my parents died last year. FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2013 at 10:54am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Work

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 11:21am / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

by Susan / 03/18/2013 at 4:59am / Ireland / Intimacy

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

by ShadowBox / 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.