SirEskimo

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SirEskimo

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2281
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About SirEskimo : I'm just here to laugh, and occasionally make others laugh with me.

SirEskimo's page activity

Visits<b>jow96</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 11:24pm<b>TheRealStunts</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 3:16am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 1:07pm<b>Emmalyne606777</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 9:47pm<b>alexjoseph5575</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 6:25pm<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 3:06pm<b>idance22</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 12:42pm<b>pokemyeyes</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 9:30pm<b>imhope</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 11:09pm<b>dandee_one</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 11:47pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 12:16pm<b>heatherma</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 6:39pm<b>Honeydip804</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 1:31am<b>aegis932</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 1:53am<b>natepowers</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 7:10pm<b>swasher</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 7:59am<b>maria95aa</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 5:04pm<b>gingerJ</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 4:43pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 7:07pm<b>imhope</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 5:09am<b>Honeydip804</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 7:31am

SirEskimo's FML badges

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I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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SirEskimo's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old son apparently practicing his oral sex skills on the crotch of one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML

by The fuck, junior? / 07/05/2013 at 6:45pm / Canada (Quebec) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I went to my parents' barbecue. He knew my family is extremely religious, so what did he do? Called for silence to make an announcement, namely: "God isn't real." Cue a riot that ended in us being kicked out and me all but disowned for "putting him up to it". FML

by he's a dawk, and a cunt / 07/05/2013 at 6:29pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

by sorry, kiddo / 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Kids

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

by explanations / 06/14/2013 at 2:48am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2013 at 2:47pm / Isle of Man / Kids

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

by life insurance for 1 / 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

by more than I wanted to know / 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm / Italy (Emilia-Romagna) / Intimacy

Today, I finally convinced my mom to read Fight Club. As English isn't her first language, she occasionally asked me to translate some of the words. Her latest question: "What's a dildo?" FML

by joeidk / 05/11/2013 at 8:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML

by fuckingjesusgran / 05/07/2013 at 6:13pm / Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego) / Transportation

Today, I tried to "trip" and fall into this guy I've had a crush on. I missed and fell on my face. He stepped over me and kept walking. FML

by clumsy / 05/06/2013 at 8:45pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to go see my granddad in the hospital and asked if he needed anything. He replied, "I need you to get out and send that hot nurse in, I may be old but I still got it." FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2013 at 4:35am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

by SkeetinKeaton / 05/06/2013 at 2:29am / United States / Kids