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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10345) - you deserved it (23070)
On 03/18/2010 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6544) - you deserved it (24262)
On 03/16/2010 at 4:12pm - love - by splitzville (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I started hooking up with a guy I've liked for a while. We got pretty into it and he went into my underwear, looking confused. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was: "I can't find it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18205) - you deserved it (3033)
On 03/15/2010 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19318) - you deserved it (3664)
On 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17413) - you deserved it (7458)
On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14353) - you deserved it (6724)
On 03/14/2010 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18464) - you deserved it (2435)
On 03/13/2010 at 12:27am - misc - by nerdygirl101 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22279) - you deserved it (3463)
On 03/10/2010 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by cmore - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I came home and noticed that sometime while I was at school, someone cut off half of my ponytail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30933) - you deserved it (2896)
On 03/10/2010 at 1:42pm - misc - by Nancy - United States
Today, I was crying because my cat died. My boyfriend cupped my face in his hands, looked me straight into the eyes and said, "I love seeing you cry." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26348) - you deserved it (2279)
On 03/10/2010 at 11:08am - love - by sliceddice (woman) - Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn)
Today, I realized that I can still do the splits. Why? Because I fell down an entire flight of stairs, everyone in the hall saw me land and applauded. Someone even shouted "and she sticks the landing." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15113) - you deserved it (2165)
On 03/10/2010 at 3:09am - misc - by misty_love (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15551) - you deserved it (15073)
On 03/09/2010 at 1:43am - love - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13151) - you deserved it (4433)
On 03/08/2010 at 5:40pm - health - by gotitEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, while playing poker, I lost a stack of money to somebody with the screen name "Poopface." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5110) - you deserved it (21807)
On 03/08/2010 at 7:08am - money - by prian (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34153) - you deserved it (7049)
On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
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