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About SimplyAmazingx : Favorite FML'ers:
DocBastard
Perdix
NoorFML
All you need to know about me is I can't stand bad grammar & I love tacos. ;)
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I joined a local interest website, hoping to make some friends in my area. I don't think I've ever met so many guys before who introduce themselves with pictures of their cocks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1291) - you deserved it (231)
On 05/25/2012 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I replaced my car's windscreen wipers, after someone stole the last pair. After I finished, I went indoors for a drink. When I returned, the new ones had been stolen too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2628) - you deserved it (165)
On 05/25/2012 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, my teenage daughter asked me if accents are hereditary. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3060) - you deserved it (541)
On 05/24/2012 at 9:37pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I took the bus. The old lady next to me almost fell when the driver stopped, but I managed to catch her. Five minutes later, the same thing happened to me. The old lady tried to help me, but I lost my balance and pulled her skirt down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5728) - you deserved it (396)
On 05/23/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by alexo - United States
Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7905) - you deserved it (864)
On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my wife allowed my mother-in-law to move in with us. She believes the government spies on her in the shower, and that the Prime Minister is a shape-shifting lizard who wants to microchip us all. I have to live with this psychotic wench until someone is desperate enough to employ her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5083) - you deserved it (511)
On 05/22/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by fuq (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, I woke up early for an important team meeting I needed to attend. I washed, got changed, and sat down to eat breakfast... I then woke up again, an hour late and covered in cereal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5513) - you deserved it (971)
On 05/19/2012 at 4:03am - work - by themcdave - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)
Today, the "My body is beautiful" t-shirt that my therapist gave me didn't fit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6292) - you deserved it (1448)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:46pm - health - by msassy - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML
I agree, your life sucks (1789) - you deserved it (5260)
On 05/18/2012 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by iris (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)
Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet. A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1802) - you deserved it (11429)
On 05/12/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Snickers (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out my boyfriend gave me a surprise birthday present: herpes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7815) - you deserved it (1098)
On 04/30/2012 at 11:01pm - intimacy - by lowlife123 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2045) - you deserved it (13999)
On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while at work as a cashier, I tried to be sweet and ID an elderly man buying a bottle of wine. He responded by calling me a "blind-ass bitch" and calling my manager for "harassing" him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3556) - you deserved it (6211)
On 04/30/2012 at 5:24am - work - by zomg - United States (Florida)
Today, after a lot of begging, I finally convinced my husband to shave all of his pubes off. Now I can't even look at it without laughing, and he's mad at me for making him do it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1196) - you deserved it (10262)
On 04/30/2012 at 4:25am - intimacy - by kdehshaden (woman) - United States
Today, I gave a homeless guy a dollar. Instead of a simple "Thank you" I got an unwanted hug. I can't wash the pee smell off me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14450) - you deserved it (3649)
On 04/30/2012 at 1:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
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