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About SilverPseudoKing : When you have nothing else to say, just yell: "hold my dick!" and the world will be a better place..
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Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26209) - you deserved it (1798)
On 01/27/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21690) - you deserved it (2261)
On 01/27/2012 at 5:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37979) - you deserved it (33894)
On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I received numerous text messages from my parents asking where I was and how worried they are. I was in my room, they didn't even notice me walk in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20171) - you deserved it (1796)
On 01/08/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by musicislife1337 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I found out that the only two people I've had feelings for in years are both dating each other. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24694) - you deserved it (2485)
On 01/07/2012 at 2:47pm - love - by Forever Alone x2 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was boarding a plane and an elderly woman asked if I could put her carry on into the overhead bin. Eager to help, I energetically lifted her bag up, and smacked her in the face with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21374) - you deserved it (3885)
On 01/06/2012 at 12:47am - misc - by plantfood - United States
Today, after months of dating, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to take things to the next level. He told me that he couldn't have sex with me because of his religious beliefs. I would've been fine with this if it weren't for the fact that I know he and his family are all atheists. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9352) - you deserved it (1178)
On 01/04/2012 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by Anon - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22322) - you deserved it (3465)
On 01/04/2012 at 7:32am - intimacy - by thankzbabe (woman) - United States
Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8527) - you deserved it (6063)
On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12705) - you deserved it (1811)
On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32007) - you deserved it (11188)
On 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by Rumpkis (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15308) - you deserved it (22635)
On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I saw an unbelievably cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27551) - you deserved it (5264)
On 10/15/2011 at 2:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my roommates thought I wasn't home and started talking about me. Apparently I'm a lesbian, devil worshiper, and an alcoholic. I didn't know my life was so fascinating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22699) - you deserved it (1889)
On 10/11/2011 at 11:34pm - misc - by FroggyGirl888 - United States
Today, my daughter decided to come out to me by leaving a browser window open with the results page of an online "Are you lesbian?" quiz. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19455) - you deserved it (6719)
On 08/15/2011 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by blah (woman) - United States (Ohio)
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