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Silentstrike's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/29/2012 at 12:53pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Chey / 03/22/2012 at 6:13pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I locked myself out of the house. After hours of ringing the doorbell and calling my roommate, I decided to break the window. When I finally got in, my roommate was waiting with a can of pepper spray. FML
by jamboooy / 03/18/2012 at 2:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/16/2012 at 1:00pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML
by zztopspinner / 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
by yamsterr / 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United States / Love
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML
by banned / 03/09/2012 at 1:59am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by FootyFoot / 03/06/2012 at 6:50am / Australia (South Australia) / Health
by wallets / 02/29/2012 at 2:47am / United States / Work
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
by Alyssa / 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by annon / 02/11/2012 at 1:23am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by Sam / 02/02/2012 at 11:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML
by aliezzedine / 02/02/2012 at 6:32am / Lebanon / Miscellaneous
by messyvictor / 01/28/2012 at 11:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/17/2012 at 6:57am / United States / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, my Mom felt the need to walk around school and tell everyone to be nice to me because I just… Today, I woke up to realize that the guy who took my virginity last night also took my flat screen… Today, things were getting heated with my girlfriend, so I tried taking her shirt off. Slapping my…