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Silentstrike's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/29/2012 at 12:53pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Chey / 03/22/2012 at 6:13pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I locked myself out of the house. After hours of ringing the doorbell and calling my roommate, I decided to break the window. When I finally got in, my roommate was waiting with a can of pepper spray. FML
by jamboooy / 03/18/2012 at 2:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/16/2012 at 1:00pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML
by zztopspinner / 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
by yamsterr / 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United States / Love
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML
by banned / 03/09/2012 at 1:59am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by FootyFoot / 03/06/2012 at 6:50am / Australia (South Australia) / Health
by wallets / 02/29/2012 at 2:47am / United States / Work
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
by Alyssa / 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by annon / 02/11/2012 at 1:23am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by Sam / 02/02/2012 at 11:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML
by aliezzedine / 02/02/2012 at 6:32am / Lebanon / Miscellaneous
by messyvictor / 01/28/2012 at 11:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/17/2012 at 6:57am / United States / Love
- Today, after choosing all classes that start after 11, so I could finally sleep in 'til 9 everyday,… Today, I woke up to my head being covered by a pissy diaper, a pile of pee not even an inch from my… Today, I went to my friends house that I haven't heard from in two weeks. Literally had to take a…