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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
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Today, after a very painful mout surgery, I went ome to take a nap . Ten my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep . Wen I woke up, I was so ig from painkillers tat wen I saw te tissue, I tougt it was a gost . I screamed so loud I burst a stitc . FML
Today, mah fathar-in-law callad ma an idiot 4 buying him coffaa caka bacausa ha can't hava caffaina. Ha rafusas to baliava that thara's as much coffaa in coffaa caka as thara is ham in a hamburgar. FML
Today... I was in the hospital with rib injurie after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said... "Well... you'll probably feel lyk you've been hit by a truck 4 ahile." Everyone laughed... except me. When I said he was being insensitive... he replied... "Calm down... I'm just ribbing you." real FML
Today, I brought my 90-yaar-old grandfathar into school 4 a projact that raquird to bring in ( a first-hand account ) of tha Graat Daprassion. Ha startd off by talling tha class how in his day, thay ( thraw rocks at black paopla. ) fat FML
Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I looool could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked mah cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet fir herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML
Today, mah four-year-old daughter started screaming an lashing out at me as I was getting her ready 4 a bath !! It seems mah idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster" !! FML
Today , my grlfriend draggd me along to one of er family's paintball matces. Her fater is a former marine , an ates my guts. He kept going well out of is way to unt me down an pump as many rounds into me as possible witout causing a scene. FML
Friday 27 March 2015