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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17292) - you deserved it (1508)
On 05/07/2012 at 4:43pm - kids - by lon01t (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)
Today, I had to explain to a customer how our hotel charged his card even though he has never stayed with us. Apparently his wife is a regular customer. I can't help but feel like a home-wrecker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25445) - you deserved it (1347)
On 04/28/2012 at 9:57am - misc - by Steve - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35499) - you deserved it (2172)
On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)
Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20398) - you deserved it (2987)
On 04/20/2012 at 10:48pm - love - by fuck (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24479) - you deserved it (1904)
On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my girlfriend of four years friend-zoned me while I was proposing to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34649) - you deserved it (1960)
On 04/11/2012 at 2:27pm - love - by crjsej - United States (Texas)
Today, a guy asked me out and said he was going to take me to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you. I love Japanese food, so I was really excited. We went to Subway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24358) - you deserved it (3752)
On 04/11/2012 at 12:54pm - love - by mista_sandy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I thought about how my dad went to get me a Halloween costume and hasn't come home yet. That was 11 years ago. We've moved twice since then. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31967) - you deserved it (1769)
On 03/29/2012 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was learning to drive a stick when a cop decided to pull me over just to laugh at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16232) - you deserved it (2429)
On 03/22/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by Chey - United States (California)
Today, I locked myself out of the house. After hours of ringing the doorbell and calling my roommate, I decided to break the window. When I finally got in, my roommate was waiting with a can of pepper spray. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20172) - you deserved it (1922)
On 03/18/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by jamboooy (man) - United States (California)
Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8072) - you deserved it (21555)
On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21412) - you deserved it (4321)
On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31748) - you deserved it (4879)
On 03/09/2012 at 1:59am - intimacy - by banned - United States (California)
Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26438) - you deserved it (2391)
On 03/06/2012 at 6:50am - health - by FootyFoot (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I told a customer that we don't do refunds. He responded by throwing his wallet at my face and accusing me of stealing it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19462) - you deserved it (1487)
On 02/29/2012 at 2:47am - work - by wallets - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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