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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, my family and I went to the movie theater. There weren't enough free seats near the front, so I sat a few rows back with my grandpa. He kept throwing our snacks at my parents' heads all through the movie. He claimed he'd been asleep the whole time, and I'm now grounded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19519) - you deserved it (1620)
On 08/17/2012 at 8:39pm - misc - by wow, thanks (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I bought the only cat on Earth that doesn't like chasing after a laser dot. Goodbye, hours of sick, sick entertainment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8852) - you deserved it (14885)
On 08/17/2012 at 7:33pm - animals - by lonelygirl (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I was so bored that I actually read the iTunes store's terms and conditions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24895) - you deserved it (5476)
On 08/16/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by cardsftw - United States (California)
Today, I was drawing while on the train, when a very good-looking woman looked at my work and said, "Wow, she's pretty. Is it supposed to be me?" She said it in a flirty tone, but before I could stop myself, I'd said "nah, it's just a generic face". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13677) - you deserved it (6809)
On 08/15/2012 at 1:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, yet again, I had to dye my hair brown in advance of the new school year, because my school doesn't allow "unapproved" colors, even if they're natural. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22162) - you deserved it (1324)
On 08/13/2012 at 1:50pm - misc - by youmothERFUCKErs (woman) - United States
Today, I invited my girlfriend over to a family lunch, planning to propose to her at just the right moment. My family was in on it, including my apparently disapproving mom, who kept causing a scene to grab my girlfriend's attention every time I went to pull out the ring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20488) - you deserved it (1666)
On 08/12/2012 at 11:49am - love - by jake (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26666) - you deserved it (1431)
On 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm - work - by mikeissad (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my social anxiety hit a new low. I was playing bingo and, although I won, I didn't shout "bingo" because I thought too many people would look at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19833) - you deserved it (6923)
On 08/11/2012 at 10:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24523) - you deserved it (1457)
On 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm - health - by dumbasdogshit (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I went to an amusement park with a group of friends, one of whom was a girl I really like. When we got on the roller coaster, I was ecstatic that she wanted to sit next to me. Not even half-way through, I ended up puking all over the both of us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15693) - you deserved it (3402)
On 08/10/2012 at 2:54pm - love - by Darth Vomitus (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I finished my first two weeks as an ice cream truck driver. Now I can't get that annoying ice cream truck music out of my head. It's even in my dreams. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16404) - you deserved it (2723)
On 08/10/2012 at 9:58am - work - by ice cream dude - United States (Colorado)
Today, I found one of my mom's old diaries that dated back to my infant days. I couldn't help but read a little. I'm now in great concern over how many times my mom wrote that she wanted to dunk me in the toilet or throw me against a wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16630) - you deserved it (2313)
On 08/09/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15114) - you deserved it (1868)
On 08/08/2012 at 11:29pm - kids - by bellabreeze - United States (Maine)
Today, while doing my job as a cart clerk, a gentleman went around the parking lot and picked some trash up, trying to help out. Faith in humanity: +1. About an hour later I saw a woman pick a bug off of her windshield and eat it. Faith in humanity: -200. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16673) - you deserved it (1453)
On 08/08/2012 at 7:23am - work - by TJ (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15690) - you deserved it (3167)
On 08/05/2012 at 9:10pm - kids - by milf - United States (Indiana)
Friday 24 May 2013
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