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Silentstrike's favorite FMLs
by ocdistheworst / 08/26/2013 at 4:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I enlisted in the military. My dad now finds it necessary to act like a drill sergeant. This includes yelling at me everywhere we go to prepare me for basic training. Training begins in four months. FML
by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 12:41am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML
by poopiter / 07/27/2013 at 2:31pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML
by Aliiiice / 07/16/2013 at 9:18am / France (Haute-Normandie) / Health
by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I was at another long swim-meet, when my daughter shaved 15 seconds off her record swim time. When I asked her how she did it, she replied, "Well someone told me to swim as fast as I can." She's just been taking her time all these years. FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Vermont) / Kids
by fuckyouverymuch / 06/13/2013 at 6:16am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
by NYmets456 / 04/05/2013 at 12:25am / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML
by kindergarten teacher / 03/23/2013 at 9:25am / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/20/2013 at 12:08pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by Miss Blairgowrie / 01/30/2013 at 2:52am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML
by maybe dead in a day / 01/20/2013 at 2:28pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
by legitweirdo / 01/07/2013 at 11:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…