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Silent_Harmony

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Silent_Harmony
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 August 1985 (28 years)
  • Number of visits : 31137
  • Number of comments : 79
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

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Silent_Harmony's FML badges

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Silent_Harmony's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a new bar downtown with some friends. I was a little buzzed and had to pee so bad. I rushed into the bathroom and as I sat down I felt a squish on my upper thigh. Turns out the last person in the stall decided to take a shit on the toilet seat. FML

#3173139
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41536) - you deserved it (10185)

On 06/24/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by feelinnauseous (woman) - United States

Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML

#3078421
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53105) - you deserved it (20752)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by jinxofsocal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a food allergy test done because of an ugly acne upswing. And after over a year of vegetarianism, I find out that I'm allergic to soy. FML

#2741589
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41161) - you deserved it (19392)

On 06/09/2009 at 1:07pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML

#2740699
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112258) - you deserved it (6851)

On 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by quadropheniac (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML

#2715001
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61398) - you deserved it (5806)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by prostate (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work my arms were full. I needed to get the door open, so instead of pushing the swing door open with my shoulder, I kicked it open with my foot. Right into my manager's face. FML

#2647799
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32501) - you deserved it (10477)

On 06/05/2009 at 11:36pm - work - by hellogoodbye (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML

#2602287
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61402) - you deserved it (8830)

On 06/04/2009 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
452 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34493) - you deserved it (114037)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was getting ready for bed, when I decided to watch some porno on the computer. Suddenly someone from my messenger list says, "You might want to turn off the 'What You're Listening To' option if you're watching porn." I snapped and exited the porn. 63 people saw. FML

#1292881
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17566) - you deserved it (70114)

On 04/24/2009 at 4:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14821) - you deserved it (65983)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, I received a really nice red satin set of underwear, with a bra, a thong and a corset... From my grandfather. FML

#725
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25730) - you deserved it (1701)

On 01/07/2009 at 6:43am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version



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