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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
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Today, I found out that I puke and then pass out at the sight of blood. I am a 16 year old girl expecting hundreds of periods to come. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45634) - you deserved it (5480)
On 08/15/2009 at 7:06pm - health - by hellnooo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (98327) - you deserved it (4142)
On 08/15/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by jellybean_94 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78468) - you deserved it (18450)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18847) - you deserved it (48580)
On 07/30/2009 at 5:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18847) - you deserved it (48580)
On 07/30/2009 at 5:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, my cell phone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32857) - you deserved it (3440)
On 07/30/2009 at 4:58am - misc - by emily (woman) - United States (New York) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, my cell phone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32857) - you deserved it (3440)
On 07/30/2009 at 4:58am - misc - by emily (woman) - United States (New York) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, my cell phone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32857) - you deserved it (3440)
On 07/30/2009 at 4:58am - misc - by emily (woman) - United States (New York) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I was running on a soccer field and accidentally dropped my gum from my mouth. No one had noticed so I picked it up and started chewing again. It was a different flavor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5889) - you deserved it (59313)
On 07/30/2009 at 1:56am - misc - by FGum (man) - United States (New York) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I learned that walking on the sidewalk does not mean that you will not be hit by a car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69151) - you deserved it (2809)
On 07/16/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52496) - you deserved it (24848)
On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was watching a movie with my parents. They were both on the bed, and I was lying on the floor next to their bed. Halfway through the movie, apparently forgetting that I was in the room, my parents started getting friendly. Three feet away from me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53640) - you deserved it (3266)
On 07/02/2009 at 5:15am - intimacy - by Ghostie (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I went to the doctor for a sports physical. I've had a giant, dark birthmark on my left rib cage that I've hated most of my life. Recently I've learned to embrace it and show it off by wearing bikinis. My doctor saw it today and told me it's a fungus that's been spreading on my side all my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50140) - you deserved it (4786)
On 07/01/2009 at 4:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (119323) - you deserved it (5924)
On 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was in line at a checkout. I have quite a few facial piercings and 1/2" gauges in my ears. The very heavy cashier asks how big my gauges are and then starts telling me about how she recently got her clitoris pierced and how sometimes she has orgasms behind the register. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58506) - you deserved it (8836)
On 06/24/2009 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by toomuchmetal (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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