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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Silent_Harmony

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Silent_Harmony
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 August 1985 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 29734
  • Number of comments : 79
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

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Silent_Harmony's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating noodles. Midway through chewing, I sneezed. The noodles got stuck in my nose. FML

#17718779 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (20900) - you deserved it (2553)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:15am - health - by bob - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML

#17516529 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (32567) - you deserved it (1896)

On 08/19/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by leftwardfoil (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

#15855335 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (32992) - you deserved it (4061)

On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML

#15689615 (258)

I agree, your life sucks (12771) - you deserved it (55767)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by failure -

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

#15426482 (229)

I agree, your life sucks (37871) - you deserved it (19501)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

#15355329 (325)

I agree, your life sucks (34624) - you deserved it (6617)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)

Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML

#15229654 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (10001) - you deserved it (30667)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by lolzboss - United States (Virginia)

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

#13157318 (296)

I agree, your life sucks (34023) - you deserved it (7390)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

#13005397 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (28801) - you deserved it (7271)

On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned to never shave your downstairs when you have the hiccups. FML

#12797931 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (13871) - you deserved it (17596)

On 08/29/2010 at 1:02am - health - by yggiz (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML

#8875274 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (13946) - you deserved it (1108)

On 03/06/2010 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by ThoroughlyCreepedOut (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend proposed. Three hours later, he called me to tell me he was kidding. FML

#8472964 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (28977) - you deserved it (1367)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:59am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my 4 year old son thought it was funny to put money in the shredder. He stuck over 500 dollars in it. FML

#7871214 (348)

I agree, your life sucks (31495) - you deserved it (9750)

On 02/04/2010 at 5:47am - money - by Maxwell - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML

#5171509 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (35513) - you deserved it (5019)

On 09/10/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by englishclasshigh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I caught my dad squishing my stick-on bra cups in his hands, trying to figure out what they are. He's an engineer who graduated from MIT. I still don't think he knows what they are. FML

#4762476 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (24846) - you deserved it (2525)

On 08/23/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by Kegronauer (woman) - United States (Florida)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.