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SicklyStar

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SicklyStar
  • Town/Country : Albuquerque, New Mexico, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 569
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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SicklyStar's favorite FMLs

Today, while a very cute girl was explaining the apartment's laundry machines to me, I blurted out, "It's okay, my pants are used to handling huge loads". FML

#16758524
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13875) - you deserved it (33916)

On 06/20/2011 at 3:37am - misc - by NewTenant (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I watched my boss try to stick a magnet to cardboard. FML

#16671761
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33733) - you deserved it (3163)

On 06/15/2011 at 1:46am - work - by MegaBear - United States

Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML

#16591385
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36805) - you deserved it (4096)

On 06/10/2011 at 4:09am - work - by lilben (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were driving to a costume party. On the way, we got into an argument and she kicked me out of her car. I had to walk around the city center in an Iron Man outfit trying to find the party venue. FML

#16446584
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25349) - you deserved it (8393)

On 06/01/2011 at 1:43am - misc - by 2ndplacechamp - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I accidentally said, "Yes, Sir." to my female teacher. I then apologized by saying, "Sorry, Sir." FML

#16418676
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31175) - you deserved it (14385)

On 05/30/2011 at 2:14pm - misc - by OopsKid (man) - France

Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for $50. I got so excited that I accidentally yelled, "Holy fuck!" They kicked me out. I didn't get the money. FML

#16381910
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16317) - you deserved it (40300)

On 05/28/2011 at 1:27am - money - by greenhide8 - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that "it's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML

#16326196
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33720) - you deserved it (7318)

On 05/24/2011 at 9:59am - misc - by BurnedByAWaiter -

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67083) - you deserved it (6317)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML

#14671725
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48418) - you deserved it (4454)

On 01/22/2011 at 8:00am - intimacy - by fmlalways - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69224) - you deserved it (5944)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML

#4267516
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52863) - you deserved it (7093)

On 08/03/2009 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by BeboKhaos (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me that we would be living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up, ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML

#4095449
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40795) - you deserved it (7037)

On 07/28/2009 at 12:15am - intimacy - by saynotochrispine (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
813 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113718) - you deserved it (71759)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90312) - you deserved it (19964)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (248097) - you deserved it (14290)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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