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Shyman4ever

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Shyman4ever
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9561
  • Number of comments : 687
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Shyman4ever's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that when you flush the toilet, the contents do not disappear into oblivion. They show up in your basement when your sewer backs up. And they come in greater numbers. FML

Today, I was interviewed by this TV crew who asked me what I thought of Rhode Island being voted for the second most neurotic state. I thought they said that Rhode Island was the second most erotic state. I commented. FML

#3790297
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34176) - you deserved it (10914)

On 07/16/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by newsgirl (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuddled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML

#3755395
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55130) - you deserved it (3363)

On 07/14/2009 at 7:57pm - animals - by homedoggieo (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML

#3750994
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41679) - you deserved it (6233)

On 07/14/2009 at 5:10pm - misc - by hungryman (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at a party at the house of the guy I really like. We were talking when he pulled me into his room. I was excited he was finally taking our friendship to the next level, until he handed me a stick of deodorant, saying "I didn't wanna tell you in the hallway, but you really need this." FML

#3698192
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35146) - you deserved it (14752)

On 07/12/2009 at 8:41pm - love - by Dee (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML

#3684210
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65625) - you deserved it (11398)

On 07/12/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by robinhoood (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of two years proposed to me. Less than two minutes later, he decided he wasn't ready for the commitment. After I had already said yes. FML

#3673670
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47879) - you deserved it (2172)

On 07/11/2009 at 7:11pm - love - by ollie_ollivia (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML

#3661940
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41448) - you deserved it (5604)

On 07/11/2009 at 5:10am - work - by grannysmack (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

#3639578
459 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57467) - you deserved it (30022)

On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 3 years. I got reservations for a romantic dinner, and at the end, fireworks would spell out my proposal. The whole thing had taken weeks to plan out and had cost me a lot of money. She proposed to me at a subway station first. FML

#3561385
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45351) - you deserved it (6613)

On 07/07/2009 at 7:04pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend came over to talk. She just got back from a small vacation. She asked me to feed her dogs while she was gone, so I did. I even stayed with them at times so they wouldnt get lonely. My girlfriend had come over to break up with me. She didn't do so earlier because she needed her dogs fed. FML

#3529390
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53094) - you deserved it (2636)

On 07/06/2009 at 4:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while working in a restaurant, I took an elderly man to his table under a red colored lamp. He asked me if this was "the red light district." I thought he was just kidding until when I was placing down the menus he leaned in and whispered creepily in my ear, "You know, you're really sexy." FML

#2960234
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34663) - you deserved it (2319)

On 06/17/2009 at 3:12am - intimacy - by creepedouthostess (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML

#2763272
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10564) - you deserved it (53918)

On 06/10/2009 at 12:36am - animals - by FMLTIMESTWO (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was introduced to my dad's girlfriend of six months. I've already heard them sleeping together several time,s and seen her car pull away early in the morning. After meeting face to face, I also learned that she's only two years older than me. FML

#2709098
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61672) - you deserved it (2569)

On 06/08/2009 at 12:08am - love - by .... (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I discovered my boyfriend of 5 months runs a website where men can submit nude or semi nude pictures of their ex's for revenge. FML

#2658374
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60779) - you deserved it (4809)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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