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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (47876) - you deserved it (21890)
On 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by uh-oh (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
I agree, your life sucks (71549) - you deserved it (4219)
On 07/21/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by fmjob (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I was walking to work when I saw an empty pop can. Angry at whoever left it, I kicked it out of the way. Turns out it wasn't empty; it was filled with hornets. I had to run 2km to work while being attacked by a giant swarm of wasps. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28717) - you deserved it (23585)
On 07/19/2009 at 10:14am - animals - by Isabelle18 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to wait outside Starbucks. While standing, I started day dreaming and didn't notice I had been staring at a table beside the window for a long time. Suddenly, someone went up to me and said "Try not to be so obvious". Sitting at the table was a girl with a huge cleavage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32080) - you deserved it (9608)
On 07/19/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by lifedoessuck12 (man) - Philippines (Pasay)
Today, after not seeing my boyfriend for 9 months, he came to meet me at the airport. I was so excited when I first saw him that I broke into a sprint to greet him. Apparently, running through the airport looks suspicious, because a security guard tackled me. Now I have a broken nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43846) - you deserved it (5140)
On 07/19/2009 at 9:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to a club with my friends. I told my mom that I was going to come back home at 3:00 a.m. At 3:15 a.m., my mom comes to the club, with 2 cops, wearing pyjamas, shouting my name and telling me to come back home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45470) - you deserved it (17170)
On 07/19/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by marcelop - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)
Today, I got sick in the airsick bag as my flight landed. The woman next to me, trying to make me feel better, says "Don't handle landings too well?" I responded "No, I actually fly fine, I'm just 8 weeks pregnant." She looked at my left hand, noticed no ring, rolled her eyes and looked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38991) - you deserved it (1909)
On 07/18/2009 at 10:27pm - misc - by preggersss (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22349) - you deserved it (47313)
On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I woke up when the guy I had spent the night with slid out of bed. When he realized I was awake, he looked down at me, shook his head, and said "I've gotta lay off the beer..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41318) - you deserved it (9687)
On 07/18/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by blackntangirl (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I used a public bathroom. I hung my purse up on the hook on the door. Two minutes later, a hand reaches over the door and steals my purse. I got robbed while taking a crap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41200) - you deserved it (5714)
On 07/18/2009 at 6:32pm - misc - by xobeachbabi428ox - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I proudly informed my boyfriend that I am now a size 4, down from an 18, after months of dieting and exercising after he told me he would like me to be a size 6. He broke up with me for "not listening to what he wanted" and "being an overachiever". FML
I agree, your life sucks (61474) - you deserved it (5837)
On 07/18/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by overachiever - United States (Illinois)
Today, I finished a fence around my house that I have been working on all week. About an hour after I finished, a water company truck pulled into my driveway. They told me they would have to take down my fence to make repairs on a water pipe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37497) - you deserved it (1964)
On 07/18/2009 at 10:23am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I woke up feeling a tingling sensation on my testicles. I enjoyed it for a few seconds, then threw off the covers. Looks like there have been cockroaches in my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46266) - you deserved it (8555)
On 07/18/2009 at 6:48am - misc - by fartypeepee (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11294) - you deserved it (35396)
On 07/18/2009 at 2:03am - misc - by joedoe (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29352) - you deserved it (73784)
On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)
Friday 24 May 2013
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