This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. After a few minutes of conversing, he told me he didn't need to give me a ticket. He then asked for a date. I politely declined. After staring at me for a very long moment, he said "I think I'm going to have to give you that ticket after all." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38204) - you deserved it (19343)
On 08/03/2009 at 1:53pm - misc - by WearingOff (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I quit my job after two years. Now I have my crazy boss sitting out in front of my house, telling me she wants to work things out. She has been there all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38302) - you deserved it (2708)
On 08/03/2009 at 1:16pm - work - by Azcrazy (man) - United States
Today, I found out that the girl I tutored in high school in basic ENGLISH just received her PhD in Biophysics. I am now the manager of a McDonald's. I was also the Valedictorian of our graduating class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33872) - you deserved it (31952)
On 08/03/2009 at 11:08am - work - by MickeyDManager (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I decided to visit my girlfriend who lives 20 hours away. Four Red Bulls: $11.50. Gas: $200. Driving halfway across the country to find your girlfriend in bed with another guy? FML
I agree, your life sucks (67861) - you deserved it (3905)
On 08/03/2009 at 1:15am - love - by Tuck_My_Life (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55431) - you deserved it (4005)
On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54795) - you deserved it (5426)
On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, after 3 long hours of mowing the lawn with a rusty lawn mower, my dad finally decided to tell me that he didn't get any money out to pay me with. The reason? He didn't think girls could mow a lawn and was expecting me to give up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41088) - you deserved it (2485)
On 08/02/2009 at 11:52am - work - by aatomkins (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, after a great night of sexual pleasure, I ran to answer the door. The angry woman standing there introduced herself. ''Hi, I'm your neighbor. My seven year old son's bedroom is just next to yours and when you scream at night he gets scared. Do you think you could keep it down?'' FML
I agree, your life sucks (36097) - you deserved it (23938)
On 08/02/2009 at 11:12am - intimacy - by kmb04 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I discovered that I have developed an allergy to salt water on my face. Now, every time I sweat or cry, I come up in a bright red rash. I am allergic to my own bodily fluids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53059) - you deserved it (2295)
On 08/02/2009 at 8:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was working as a host at a pasta dinner. The hostess I was working with was very attractive and we were flirting quite a bit. A large woman walked in to be seated, and I leaned over to her and dared her to ask the woman if she wanted two chairs. She leaned back and said "that's my mom". FML
I agree, your life sucks (8022) - you deserved it (50213)
On 08/02/2009 at 3:35am - work - by bigmouth (man) - United States (California)
Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54707) - you deserved it (11470)
On 08/02/2009 at 12:21am - love - by thefailure (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got pulled over for the first time since I got my license. I have disorganized speech and occasional inappropriate emotional response. I began to laugh due to nervousness and when I tried to explain why, I was arrested because he thought I was high. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41240) - you deserved it (3759)
On 08/01/2009 at 3:24pm - misc - by Jesse (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I finished doing a resume that I had spent three hours on. I e-mailed it to the business I was applying for, satisfied. I decided to look it over. The first thing I notice, I spelt my own name wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7214) - you deserved it (43915)
On 08/01/2009 at 3:20pm - work - by anonymouschicka (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be totally honest with each other. We even told some of our deepest, darkest secrets, in hopes of strengthening our relationship. He told me he had a diaper fetish, and would love to see me in one. There goes my sex life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44758) - you deserved it (9510)
On 08/01/2009 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Maria39018 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my girlfriend and I were having ice cream and I jokingly asked "What's better? The sex or ice cream?" Apparently I don't pleasure her like Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14958) - you deserved it (33981)
On 08/01/2009 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
