Shyman4ever

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Shyman4ever

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12024
  • Number of comments : 687
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Shyman4ever's page activity

Visits<b>iMuffinKat</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 2:34am<b>rootbeercheese8</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 12:03pm<b>lonelyfuck</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 1:48am<b>IrishReaper</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 5:51pm<b>Yolomcswaggin420</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 9:30pm<b>Sportey</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 11:53pm<b>teentee401</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 3:04pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 1:12pm<b>aspenmoon</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 2:34am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 1:18am<b>dannarino</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 9:21am<b>smallzz993</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 12:52pm<b>hybridpordigy</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 8:44pm<b>xoAbiox</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 7:53pm<b>Haha_no_123</b> - the 01/19/2012 at 7:59pm<b>Sillydeadperson</b> - the 11/27/2011 at 4:10pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 2:47am<b>Whatever80</b> - the 04/13/2010 at 8:51pm

Fucked!<b>rootbeercheese8</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 6:03pm

Shyman4ever's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Shyman4ever's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home on leave from a 7 month deployment to Iraq. I wanted to see my girlfriend today, but she needed to spend time with her sick grandmother. As it turns out, her sick grandmother and my cousin are the same person. FML

by FUSMC / 08/12/2009 at 2:01am / United States (California) / Love

Today, at work, a man bought a lot of really expensive stuff. He paid the large bill with cash, and the manager helped me count the money. When we were done, he handed me a $100 bill to thank me for all the help. We can't accept tips. The manager was next to me. I had to say no. FML

by aw-wtf / 08/11/2009 at 1:57pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2009 at 4:58am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was approached by the head cheerleader, and she asked for my number. I was so excited that I gave it to her without question. Then she smiled, and walked away. Too bad my girlfriend was right behind me when it happened. FML

by A.L.Woody / 08/11/2009 at 2:42am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2009 at 12:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was complaining of a scorpion sting on his leg. I told him to stop whining and get over it. Later, as I went to sleep, I felt a sharp pain in my arm. As I flipped on the light, I saw a scorpion crawling over the blankets. Now my entire arm is numb and I can't stop crying. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2009 at 11:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that because of my new medication, I can either avoid getting malaria, or have a male yeast infection. I'm stuck in Africa for the next two months, and have to sit down to pee because I don't want to irritate my penis by touching it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2009 at 2:27am / Ghana (Volta) / Health

Today, I gathered both mine and my girlfriend's families secretly to a restaurant. I paid the restaurant to play romantic music, and paid for the best table available. As soon as we finished our meal, our families gathered around and I proposed. She laughed and said no way. FML

by gtrs750 / 08/09/2009 at 9:48am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love

Today, while entering the building I live in, I walked into my neighbor who winked at me and said last night must have been great. After I asked why, he said he could hear my girlfriend moaning and screaming, and that I must be pretty good at it. I was just coming back from a week overseas. FML

by ouch / 08/08/2009 at 9:56pm / Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul) / Intimacy

Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML

by oshitdonotwant / 08/08/2009 at 9:42am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to surprise my husband by bringing home a case of beer and renting us a porno. He decided to surprise me by telling me he was leaving me for his pregnant girlfriend. FML

by Screwed / 08/07/2009 at 7:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

by piratequeen / 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. Halfway through he asked me what day it was. I told him, "Friday." He jumped up and ran over to the TV yelling, "Oh my God! Shark week is almost over!!" I was cock-blocked by the Discovery Channel. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2009 at 11:16am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML

by nikkrissa_04 / 08/07/2009 at 7:17am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I went out drinking with a female friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, She said 'Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?'. Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy at the bar. FML

by ineedanotherdrink / 08/07/2009 at 5:43am / United States (Washington) / Love