[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

Shreddd

Search for a member

Shreddd
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 July 1987 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 1111
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Shreddd : I'm smart, handsome, and humble.

Shreddd's last visitors

Shreddd's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Shreddd's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out nobody in my family wants to come to my college graduation. I spent 4 years and $60,000 to be the first person in my family to go to college, and nobody wants to see me graduate because the 4 hour ceremony is too long. FML

#1639625 (193)

I agree, your life sucks (58983) - you deserved it (2577)

On 05/04/2009 at 7:39pm - misc - by strawberrypuff (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I sent everyone a text on my phone book saying, "Happy Star Wars Day!!! May the Fourth be with you!!" I forgot to uncheck my exgirlfriend's number. She texted back, "one of the many reasons I broke up with you." FML

#1628197 (379)

I agree, your life sucks (20156) - you deserved it (51526)

On 05/04/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by 1suckatL1fe - United States (Virginia)

Today, I asked my mom if she thought I was straight. She looked at me and said "Well, that's really up to you honey. But your father and I would still love you." I was asking if she thought I had parked straight. FML

#1625172 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (40841) - you deserved it (8791)

On 05/04/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor went through the normal questions, then paused for a moment and jotted something down. Later when I got back my report from the checkup, I noticed that the doctor had checked the "no" box by "sexually active." She didn't even ask me that. FML

#1536104 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (66484) - you deserved it (4183)

On 05/01/2009 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had an ultrasound in fear of testicular cancer. I apparently signed papers allowing an intern to do it for practice. She was in her early 20s and smoking hot so as she was rubbing jelly on my testes I got an erection. FML

#1525413 (307)

I agree, your life sucks (60739) - you deserved it (18529)

On 05/01/2009 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by erectioninfection (man) - United States

Today, is my long-anticipated 21st birthday! Today also happens to be the first day of my period. I've spent the whole morning in the fetal position with agonizing cramps, reduced to tears and whimpering while the painkiller refuses to kick in. Happy birthday! Love, my uterus. FML

#1487468 (301)

I agree, your life sucks (71018) - you deserved it (6092)

On 04/30/2009 at 11:11am - health - by buymeadrank (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

#1485215 (493)

I agree, your life sucks (81567) - you deserved it (11213)

On 04/30/2009 at 8:15am - intimacy - by soooyeah (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my kids told me that for the FIRST time, my cooking was delicious. I made Kraft dinner that night. FML

#1427815 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (33473) - you deserved it (5525)

On 04/28/2009 at 4:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my teacher called me into his office so he that he could pass me some information for my project. Just as he plugged in my thumbdrive, he opened the folder named "School Work". That was the folder name I used to disguise my porn. FML

#1415955 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (18483) - you deserved it (77292)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, at work I grabbed some customer keys off the board. I was checking out their cool flashlight keychain. At the exact moment I realized it wasn't a keychain, I pepper sprayed myself directly in the right eye. FML

#1415405 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (10591) - you deserved it (46838)

On 04/28/2009 at 3:47am - work - by jdubious (man) - United States

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML

#1415688 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (145552) - you deserved it (5888)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:27am - intimacy - by liveforpeace_ (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML

#1409707 (213)

I agree, your life sucks (85124) - you deserved it (5570)

On 04/27/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by seriouslywtf (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, in a big argument, my sister uninvited my mom to her wedding. Trying to comfort my mom, I rented Mamma Mia knowing she's wanted to see it for a while. Turns out, Mamma Mia is a mother/daughter feel-good about the daughters wedding. I had no idea, and my mom cried the whole movie. FML

#1386673 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (16517) - you deserved it (50708)

On 04/27/2009 at 8:54am - love - by mammamia (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML

#1384927 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (7706) - you deserved it (36936)

On 04/27/2009 at 5:14am - misc - by maddie94 (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

#1246949 (271)

I agree, your life sucks (17680) - you deserved it (62743)

On 04/23/2009 at 1:44am - health - by tgstreaks (woman) - United States (Mississippi)