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Shmatterhorn

Offline (the 12/24/2013 at 8:02pm) | Search for a member

Shmatterhorn

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 13 July 1966 (48 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2023
  • Number of comments : 222
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Shmatterhorn : anime fan, just looking for some fun

Shmatterhorn's page activity

Visits<b>ervnomyous</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:43am<b>KagamineRinny</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 6:59pm<b>cakefete2</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 1:53pm<b>blueSock</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 8:30pm<b>punz</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 8:50pm<b>jerryj</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 9:45am<b>vipirius</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 9:10am<b>MrDonSalvetti</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 6:28am<b>BlackPhoenixNite</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 4:04am<b>SmilerVamp</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 3:50am<b>iOceanus</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 11:21pm<b>dradyn</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 4:45pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 1:19am<b>Narttu</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 2:42pm<b>numbwanderlust</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 12:20pm<b>therosalina</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 6:28pm<b>Opinion_</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 2:22pm<b>railgunonlymy</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 4:17am

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Shmatterhorn's favorite FMLs

Today, after finals, my English professor left me less than one percent from an A. Why? All semester long, he took away points because my opinions did not match his. FML

Today, I found a job after two years of searching. I excitedly called my best friend to tell her the good news. She decided break her own news about how she quit yet another good paying job and found an even better one within hours. FML

Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML

Today, I had a dream that I was playing fetch with my dog. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to the sound of my phone smashing against the wall. FML

Today, my mother in-law made dessert. It was a beautiful chocolate cake, chocolate cookies, and every other thing had chocolate in it. I'm deathly allergic to chocolate and she knows this. FML

#20975692
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46096) - you deserved it (3218)

On 11/30/2013 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my obsessive ex, who recently cut my phone line to stop me from talking to my boyfriend of three years, got a job at the same restaurant where both my boyfriend and I work. FML

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML

#20961774
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32243) - you deserved it (3526)

On 11/18/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by kb (woman) - United States

Today, a girl came up and hugged me. At first I was frightened, but then I asked who she was. Turns out she was the kid I babysat for 3 years. She cried when she realized I didn't remember her, then threw gravel in my face and ran away. FML

Today, I learned I was conceived to the sounds of a Spice Girls album. FML

#20954288
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34552) - you deserved it (3800)

On 11/11/2013 at 6:58pm - misc - by queenxalee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was quizzing a girl at my college, and I noticed that when she answered a question, her ears wiggled. It was cute, so I pointed it out. She burst into tears, and the guy next to me said, "Way to make her feel insecure, douchebag." FML

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43543) - you deserved it (3265)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I googled myself in preparation for my upcoming job interview. Turns out there's a girl on Twitter with my name and age who tweets nonstop about getting wasted and being on probation. She won't make her profile private. FML

#20944947
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43766) - you deserved it (3124)

On 11/04/2013 at 7:08am - work - by twitterfailsme (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, my mom found a new fad, and now styles herself as some kind of modern druid. Normally I'd just roll my eyes and deal with it, except she's forced the entire family to go vegetarian, threatening harsh punishments if we refuse to stop "poisoning" our bodies. FML

#20943896
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36964) - you deserved it (2961)

On 11/03/2013 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, some kid asked me if I was Mexican. After I explained to him that I was actually Venezuelan, he simply snorted and said, "That's the same f*cking thing. If you speak Spanish then you're Mexican." FML

#20939700
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46610) - you deserved it (5304)

On 10/30/2013 at 10:59pm - misc - by Rinelric1998 (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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