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Shmatterhorn

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Shmatterhorn

26Fucked!

ShmatterhornShmatterhorn
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 15 July 1966 (49 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6976
  • Number of comments : 321
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Shmatterhorn : anime fan, just looking for some fun

Shmatterhorn's page activity

Visits<b>Miss_Chevious</b> - yesterday at 5:11pm<b>UberMom</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 4:55am<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 3:11am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 8:33am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 9:19pm<b>jamaarlove</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 4:21am<b>joco4</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 11:04am<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 10:46pm<b>krfenton8</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 10:52am<b>AndesFults</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 11:13pm<b>CogadhTallon</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 2:00am<b>AyeJay101</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 6:47am<b>msizziec</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 2:42am<b>mds9986</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 12:34am<b>HighlandShadows</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 6:39pm<b>Tyrez</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 12:11pm<b>Crazion</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 9:06am<b>ThirteenThirteen</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 3:53am

Fucked!<b>UberMom</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 10:55am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 3:19am<b>joco4</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 5:04pm<b>AndesFults</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 5:13am<b>HighlandShadows</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 12:40am<b>Crazion</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 3:06pm<b>GeneralMotors</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 8:13pm<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 8:37am<b>Idekanymore123</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 2:00am<b>kibster9</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 12:52am<b>Anushka</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 12:52am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 10:38pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 7:47pm<b>kimg0885</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 3:15pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 9:44pm<b>Akazuki</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 11:56pm<b>StillUsesMyspace</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 8:01pm<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 3:28am

Shmatterhorn's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of Shmatterhorn's badges

Shmatterhorn's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a army-mandated personality evaluation test. The results said I had a high chance of schizophrenia and multiple personality syndrome. Part of me says that the test is probably spot-on, the other part says it has to be a mistake. Apparently this is another sign of schizophrenia. FML

Today, while my husband and I were having sex, my cat decided to join in on our moans by crying at the door the entire time. He stopped as soon as we finished. FML

Today, I volunteered to tutor a 17-year-old girl in science. I had to explain in detail of what the real Big Bang theory was, as she only knew about the show. Later, I heard I was reported by her because apparently, "I was trying to convert her to Scientology." I now know why she needed a tutor. FML

Today, we had a meeting at my job and we had to introduce new ideas to our boss. Earlier, I was talking to one of my close friends who also attended the meeting about my idea. As we start the meeting, she decides to steal my idea and take complete credit for it. My boss loves "her" idea. FML

#21265023
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39668) - you deserved it (6574)

On 09/25/2014 at 8:18am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my mother is so overdramatic that her response to finding out I lost a friend's book was that I should fake my own death rather than fess up. FML

#21265006
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33119) - you deserved it (3143)

On 09/25/2014 at 7:19am - misc - by hylianprincess (woman) - United States

Today, my date ditched me and showed up with another guy at the same restaurant. She even tried to take the reservation. FML

#21263789
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39270) - you deserved it (2681)

On 09/23/2014 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, it's the first day of fall. It's also the day that over 20 people have made jokes about my name being "Autumn" like they're the funniest, most original people alive. It's not even 8 am. This is going to be a long day. FML

#21263689
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34301) - you deserved it (3301)

On 09/23/2014 at 8:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, the man who hit on me in a store and asked for my number showed up on my doorstep to inquire about my couch for sale. With his wife. FML

#21262712
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34112) - you deserved it (2668)

On 09/21/2014 at 9:27pm - misc - by ohtheirony -

Today, I'm precisely one month away from graduating with a degree in translation for the sole purpose of becoming a state-authorised translator. Today, I also discovered that my government has just decided to abandon the concept of authorisation for translators. FML

Today, my goat decided my hairstyle was so last season and restyled it for me with his teeth. FML

Today, I returned from my first paid vacation in the past 2 years from a place with no cell, or internet. I've just found out that our department has been downsized. FML

#21249182
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35778) - you deserved it (2598)

On 08/31/2014 at 5:51pm - work - by Happy Employee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a job. My parents have decided it's now a better idea to take money from my paycheck instead of grounding me. FML

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, the man I have been in love with for years came to me with a beautiful ring and a heartfelt proposal. Too bad it ended with an eager, "So do you think he'll say yes?" FML

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

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