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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 15 July 1966 (49 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6511
  • Number of comments : 307
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Shmatterhorn : anime fan, just looking for some fun

Shmatterhorn's page activity

Visits<b>PikachuTaylor</b> - yesterday at 1:08pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 7:09pm<b>Seashells77</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 7:07am<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 2:37am<b>Katerchen</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 1:44am<b>undere</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 6:47pm<b>seepin</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 6:01pm<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 5:38pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 9:27am<b>NotNeeded</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 1:54am<b>LilRedRobinHood</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 8:05pm<b>demix</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 7:42am<b>Idekanymore123</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 8:00pm<b>kibster9</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 6:52pm<b>Myo</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 6:52am<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 2:24am<b>GEFStryker</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 12:09pm<b>GrumblySphinx</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 2:05pm

Fucked!<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 8:37am<b>Idekanymore123</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 2:00am<b>kibster9</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 12:52am<b>Anushka</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 12:52am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 10:38pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 7:47pm<b>kimg0885</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 3:15pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 9:44pm<b>Akazuki</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 11:56pm<b>StillUsesMyspace</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 8:01pm<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 3:28am<b>PartyMoose</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 7:19pm<b>KimmieHappyKat</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 10:43am<b>mwali02</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 1:42am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 10:42pm<b>mete_orito</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 2:38am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 9:47pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 3:56pm

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Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

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Shmatterhorn's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to quickly back out of a Skype call between me and three coworkers because my fiancée came home from work in tears. When things had calmed down, I re-entered the call to find them unaware I had returned, saying how glad they were I had left because they all secretly despise me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24723) - you deserved it (1911)

On 10/06/2015 at 3:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she'd leave me for her ex in a heartbeat. Tomorrow is, or should I say "was", our wedding day. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36652) - you deserved it (2249)

On 04/25/2015 at 3:57am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I was working at a donation center. I was having a really rough day, so my fiancée dropped me off some cookies. At the end of my shift, the manager told me I couldn't take them home because they were donated and therefore they were "company property." FML


I agree, your life sucks (29357) - you deserved it (2017)

On 03/30/2015 at 4:46pm - work - by bingalingading (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my right shoulder and can barely move my arm. My friends keep asking if I'm sure it wasn't from jerking off too much. Truth is, I pulled it by playing on my computer too much. FML

Today, I was talking to my friend in Spanish because he understands it better than English. We were in the middle of a discussion about a TV show when some guy from our school ran up, spat on my shoes and screamed, "I SPEAK SPANISH, STOP TALKING ABOUT ME!" and ran away. FML

Today, when making a delivery for the restaurant I work for, a customer shoved and yelled at me because she didn't get any fries with her order. She didn't order any, which isn't unusual, considering we're a Chinese takeaway and don't even sell them. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29827) - you deserved it (1939)

On 01/30/2015 at 8:25pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out my girlfriend is bulimic. Like that wasn't bad enough, I found out because she spent all of our rent money on food. FML


Today, a weird friend of my father's decided to visit us. Our house isn't very big, so when he went to the bathroom, I could hear everything. He didn't wash his hands after a massive dump, and when he came out of the bathroom he patted my face. FML

Today, I found out that, due to the walls at my uni dorm being ridiculously thin, my entire flat overheard me lose my virginity. Spanking and all. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32370) - you deserved it (9870)

On 01/25/2015 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by Orgasmataz (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I refused to serve a woman alcohol, as she looked underage. She complained to my manager about "age racism". FML


I agree, your life sucks (33644) - you deserved it (2560)

On 01/12/2015 at 3:23am - work - by nick (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, while shopping with my father, I had to use the restroom. As soon as I opened the door to the men's room, my father yelled that it was the ladies' room. I then turned around and went through the other door, where I ended up getting bitch-slapped. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29838) - you deserved it (6102)

On 12/23/2014 at 3:46pm - misc - by wowdadreally (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. As things got heated, he broke down crying. I assumed it was just anxiety so I hugged him and told him it's alright and that it didn't matter, we'd try another time. Half an hour later, he confessed that he's actually gay. FML

Today, I was having a nice conversation with my fiancé when he said out of nowhere, "I sold some of your panties". I thought he was joking so I said I hoped they weren't any of my favorites. He wasn't joking, though, and now some stranger from Craigslist owns my panties. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31587) - you deserved it (2889)

On 12/14/2014 at 12:15am - misc - by konacoffee17 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband sent me a link to an article titled "5 ways you are unknowingly destroying your husband and killing your marriage." FML

Today, I took a army-mandated personality evaluation test. The results said I had a high chance of schizophrenia and multiple personality syndrome. Part of me says that the test is probably spot-on, the other part says it has to be a mistake. Apparently this is another sign of schizophrenia. FML

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

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