Shmatterhorn

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Offline (the 11/30/2016 at 3:00am)

Shmatterhorn

32Fucked!

ShmatterhornShmatterhorn
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 15 July 1966 (50 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8914
  • Number of comments : 348
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Shmatterhorn : anime fan, just looking for some fun

Shmatterhorn's page activity

Visits<b>Tiaxlnr</b> - the 11/13/2016 at 10:31pm<b>BlueAlpaca</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 1:05am<b>iwillcallpolice</b> - the 10/07/2016 at 9:27am<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 10/06/2016 at 1:05pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 9:08pm<b>disturbedgd</b> - the 10/01/2016 at 3:11pm<b>chyiochan</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 8:29pm<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 4:51am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 7:12pm<b>joco4</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 2:26am<b>Brightbulb</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 4:52pm<b>slapstick1982</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 2:40pm<b>frankmz</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 4:09pm<b>BlueBaronBitch</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 9:03am<b>darkangel7410</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 3:54am<b>crackie</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 7:47pm<b>raven83</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 8:44am<b>MagicalPony3783</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 5:02pm

Fucked!<b>disturbedgd</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 5:10am<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 09/01/2016 at 7:07am<b>Brightbulb</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 6:36am<b>BlueBaronBitch</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 3:03pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 5:22am<b>FujisakiChihiro</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 5:23am<b>UberMom</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 10:55am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 3:19am<b>joco4</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 5:04pm<b>AndesFults</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 5:13am<b>HighlandShadows</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 12:40am<b>Crazion</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 3:06pm<b>GeneralMotors</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 8:13pm<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 8:37am<b>Idekanymore123</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 2:00am<b>kibster9</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 12:52am<b>Anushka</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 12:52am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 10:38pm

Shmatterhorn's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of Shmatterhorn's badges

Shmatterhorn's favorite FMLs

Today, when I went to work, my nice coworker gave me a gift basket. And cookies. I had to tell him that I caught his kid keying my car last night. FML

by Florida / 11/23/2016 at 10:04pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, I was unsuccessful in getting a job at a supermarket. The same supermarket I used to work at. I now have a degree but can't even get a job at a place I used to work. FML

by poormum / 11/17/2016 at 6:41am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I got a call informing me that my 16-year-old daughter had been arrested for shoplifting jewellery. Trying to look on the bright side, I assumed it was for my birthday that is coming up in a few days. Nope. It was a "Thank you" gift. For her drug dealer. FML

by Pissed.Off.Mom. / 10/06/2016 at 1:14am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I received an envelope with my name written in beautiful writing in my mailbox. I just moved in the day before and hadn't given the address to anyone or met my neighbors yet so I was a bit surprised by it, even more surprised to find nothing but a dick pic inside. FML

by ZeldaovaPeach / 07/05/2016 at 8:44am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I've tried literally every possible brand of antiperspirant deodorant available to me in my area. I went to the bathroom to discover I'd pitted out my favorite shirt. It's mild weather, I have done nothing active, and I'm not stressed. My body just loves to make me sweat. FML

by FastTurtle9 / 05/24/2016 at 4:10pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML

by nullroute / 02/16/2016 at 6:34am / Switzerland (Aargau) / Miscellaneous

Today, cable was installed at my house and the cable guy smelled like some horrid mix of cabbage and cheese. I'm pregnant and suffering from morning sickness. I've sprayed air freshener, lit candles, and opened windows despite the cold outside. I can't get rid of the smell. FML

by soapisyourfriend / 02/16/2016 at 1:53am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was heading home after getting off work at 5 in the morning, when a deer slid out in front of my car. Not jumped. Slid. Thanks, winter. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2015 at 7:45am / Transportation

Today, I had to quickly back out of a Skype call between me and three coworkers because my fiancée came home from work in tears. When things had calmed down, I re-entered the call to find them unaware I had returned, saying how glad they were I had left because they all secretly despise me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2015 at 3:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she'd leave me for her ex in a heartbeat. Tomorrow is, or should I say "was", our wedding day. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2015 at 3:57am / United States (Montana) / Love

Today, I was working at a donation center. I was having a really rough day, so my fiancée dropped me off some cookies. At the end of my shift, the manager told me I couldn't take them home because they were donated and therefore they were "company property." FML

by bingalingading / 03/30/2015 at 4:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I pulled a muscle in my right shoulder and can barely move my arm. My friends keep asking if I'm sure it wasn't from jerking off too much. Truth is, I pulled it by playing on my computer too much. FML

by Pleonasm / 02/18/2015 at 10:14am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was talking to my friend in Spanish because he understands it better than English. We were in the middle of a discussion about a TV show when some guy from our school ran up, spat on my shoes and screamed, "I SPEAK SPANISH, STOP TALKING ABOUT ME!" and ran away. FML

by marigoldcobain / 02/04/2015 at 6:11pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, when making a delivery for the restaurant I work for, a customer shoved and yelled at me because she didn't get any fries with her order. She didn't order any, which isn't unusual, considering we're a Chinese takeaway and don't even sell them. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2015 at 8:25pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I found out my girlfriend is bulimic. Like that wasn't bad enough, I found out because she spent all of our rent money on food. FML