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About Shiningstartp : Lighten up.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had to slowly explain to my daughter why her Facebook profile isn't a valid piece of ID. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8279) - you deserved it (1362)
On 01/15/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by Ange (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3284) - you deserved it (12058)
On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2933) - you deserved it (7104)
On 01/11/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by bunnyluver4545 - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7595) - you deserved it (1529)
On 01/09/2012 at 1:14am - love - by Whyme (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30803) - you deserved it (28068)
On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7775) - you deserved it (2023)
On 01/03/2012 at 2:44pm - animals - by vanessa560 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6525) - you deserved it (1879)
On 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6690) - you deserved it (42902)
On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)
Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7682) - you deserved it (2437)
On 12/04/2011 at 8:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11327) - you deserved it (1554)
On 11/17/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8173) - you deserved it (2232)
On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I got into my car after a long shift at work. When I looked in my rear view mirror, a horrifyingly evil face grinned at me from the back window. I leaped out of the car, only to be chased around by two people in clown masks. It turned out to be a prank set up by my co-workers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20293) - you deserved it (1974)
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8206) - you deserved it (1523)
On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I came home from school to find almost every single personal possession and piece of furniture from my bedroom all laid out or disassembled in the back yard. My dad smugly told me I'd better start moving it all back. This is his revenge for me salting his coffee this morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8845) - you deserved it (24020)
Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he randomly sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9068) - you deserved it (1642)
On 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by myasshurts - United States (Michigan)
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