About Shiningstartp : Lighten up.
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Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27127) - you deserved it (35121)
On 05/06/2013 at 8:52pm - misc - by blondie107 - United States (Texas)
Today, my mom started referring to me as "The Bitch". When I asked her why, she said that I have always been a bitch, but I was never old enough for her to actually call me a bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21245) - you deserved it (4934)
On 02/10/2013 at 11:26pm - misc - by maggu (woman) - Denmark
Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31432) - you deserved it (1963)
On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27361) - you deserved it (1754)
On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17087) - you deserved it (1744)
On 11/24/2012 at 11:35am - misc - by lobstercola - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24931) - you deserved it (2484)
On 03/11/2012 at 3:36am - love - by Tristan Brantley - United States (California)
Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19894) - you deserved it (6928)
On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States
Today, I'm so sick that I'm drinking fluids just to make it hurt less when I puke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18962) - you deserved it (1437)
On 03/01/2012 at 11:17am - health - by cmoney6452 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6350) - you deserved it (11874)
On 02/22/2012 at 2:56am - misc - by jenni6488 - United Kingdom (Gateshead)
Today, I had to slowly explain to my daughter why her Facebook profile isn't a valid piece of ID. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22634) - you deserved it (4142)
On 01/15/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by Ange (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10016) - you deserved it (34376)
On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10281) - you deserved it (22456)
On 01/11/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by bunnyluver4545 - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25023) - you deserved it (4424)
On 01/09/2012 at 1:14am - love - by Whyme (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41070) - you deserved it (36316)
On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21867) - you deserved it (5906)
On 01/03/2012 at 2:44pm - animals - by vanessa560 - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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