About Shek_FMLs : I'm Black, that's pretty much it...
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, I realized it feels better when I sneeze than when my boyfriend and I have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26609) - you deserved it (4064)
On 02/26/2011 at 7:18am - intimacy - by horriblegf - United States
Today, I went to see my banker. As we were finishing everything up, I leaned forward to sign something. As I went back to sit down, my 2 year old pulled the chair out from under me, and I crashed down to the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17598) - you deserved it (4002)
On 02/24/2011 at 8:56pm - kids - by Gretchen -
Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17809) - you deserved it (36504)
On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)
Today, I found a picture my husband had saved on the computer. It was of me, and he had named it "Fatter". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17349) - you deserved it (9762)
On 02/22/2011 at 3:38am - love - by just great... -
Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23565) - you deserved it (4244)
On 02/21/2011 at 6:43am - misc - by Karl -
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30346) - you deserved it (9995)
On 02/21/2011 at 12:01am - intimacy - by anonymous -
Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7559) - you deserved it (45293)
On 02/15/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by howler (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend woke me up by playing with the string of my tampon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36962) - you deserved it (4694)
On 02/13/2011 at 4:32am - intimacy - by Eva - Sent from mobile version
Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37338) - you deserved it (7338)
On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States
Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19190) - you deserved it (2563)
On 11/19/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by pussystroker (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (178068) - you deserved it (25403)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (382361) - you deserved it (21599)
On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46797) - you deserved it (127961)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53424) - you deserved it (418911)
On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)
Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53426) - you deserved it (586398)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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