Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Shallow_Padentic

Search for a member

Shallow_Padentic

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 19685
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Shallow_Padentic's page activity

Visits<b>mzrayray</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 9:43pm<b>jbabco</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 11:29pm<b>elibel</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 1:30pm<b>KillaGG</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 5:59pm<b>cobra2012</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 5:36pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:55pm<b>tpike1296</b> - the 04/10/2011 at 4:07pm<b>Sakura13</b> - the 01/30/2011 at 10:03am<b>SimpleSimon</b> - the 08/07/2009 at 10:48am<b>gsm</b> - the 07/31/2009 at 4:28pm<b>mari0958</b> - the 07/01/2009 at 8:14pm<b>oliviafield</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 2:14am<b>sdouaji</b> - the 05/18/2009 at 10:10pm<b>onna</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 7:49pm<b>athensbeach</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 2:00pm<b>djsubdu3</b> - the 05/16/2009 at 11:41pm<b>ilovemysuckylife</b> - the 05/16/2009 at 11:06pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/16/2009 at 4:50pm

Shallow_Padentic's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Shallow_Padentic's favorite FMLs

Today, at the gym, I saw this really pretty girl. Trying to impress her, I started lifting with heavy weights. One of the weights slipped out of my hand. I then dropped the other one, trying to make it seem like it was on purpose. I dropped the weight on my phone. I squealed. She giggled. FML

#547480
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11288) - you deserved it (80974)

On 03/23/2009 at 1:42am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my crush and I were hooking up and as he slipped his hands up my shirt in order to "feel me up" he started rubbing around my whole torso. When I asked him what he was doing he replied "well I was looking for your boobs but apparently you have none" FML

#544318
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95962) - you deserved it (8400)

On 03/22/2009 at 11:18pm - intimacy - by tinytitty (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML

#539856
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65501) - you deserved it (31510)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:02pm - kids - by Noca (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was with my girlfriend and she was making me listen to one of her recordings for chorus. As I was listening to it a solo came on, and i turned to her and said "This is the worst F*ing solo I've ever heard in my life." Little did I know, it was her solo. FML

#539195
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13631) - you deserved it (79912)

On 03/22/2009 at 8:38pm - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was with my girlfriend and she was making me listen to one of her recordings for chorus. As I was listening to it a solo came on, and i turned to her and said "This is the worst F*ing solo I've ever heard in my life." Little did I know, it was her solo. FML

#539195
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13631) - you deserved it (79912)

On 03/22/2009 at 8:38pm - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

#532942
337 comments

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
523 comments

I agree, your life sucks (243420) - you deserved it (32205)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went swimming. As I was getting out of the very crowded pool a little girl ran up to me pointed and yelled, "Mommy, I want big boobies like that when I grow up." I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML

#522932
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71608) - you deserved it (23301)

On 03/22/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by joshinbaltimore (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went out for coffee with a guy I really like. We met up at the local café, and decided to sit at a counter in front of the window. We talked and flirted for a while. Then he kissed me, and while he was kissing me someone banged on the window. It was my parents. They didn't know I'm gay. FML

#520285
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90707) - you deserved it (32939)

On 03/21/2009 at 10:38pm - love - by clementine_k (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to withdraw 200 dollars. At the ATM, I noticed a suspicious man standing really close to me. I was nervous about entering my pin number, and worrying he was looking at my account information. In my panic, I got all the way home before realizing that I left the cash in the machine. FML

#518934
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18780) - you deserved it (77112)

On 03/21/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was on a cruise and fell asleep next to the pool. I had an intense dream that I had fallen off into the ocean. I rolled off my sun chair into the water and woke up screaming uncontrollably, I thought I was in the ocean. I was in the kiddy pool. FML

#516952
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53184) - you deserved it (11990)

On 03/21/2009 at 8:06pm - misc - by nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friend and i thought it would be funny if we could both fit into her big sweatpants. When we tried to take a step, she fell on top of me. She started peeing uncontrollably. We had to cut ourselves out of the sweatpants. FML

#508489
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50036) - you deserved it (34360)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by emilyxoxoxo - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we got inside my mom yells to me "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML

#492829
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (130555) - you deserved it (7992)

On 03/20/2009 at 5:16pm - misc - by megan228 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my wife of over 20 years told me she wants a divorce because she wants "a change in life". She has had the same mullet hair cut since '84. FML

#488336
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74361) - you deserved it (8525)

On 03/20/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: