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Shallow_Padentic

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Shallow_Padentic
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 18630
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Shallow_Padentic's favorite FMLs

Today, I was entered into an online contest where they announce your name on the radio and if you call in within an hour they pay your bills for you. I'm unemployed, so I got really excited when they announced my name. My call wouldn't go through - I hadn't paid my phone bill and the line was disconnected. FML

#630106
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62235) - you deserved it (25221)

On 03/26/2009 at 8:24pm - money - by Broke (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML

#621353
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56574) - you deserved it (29381)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:11pm - love - by johnfrank (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to go, the man slipped something into my shirt pocket and said "have a drink on me." When I got to my truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML

#598491
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67900) - you deserved it (5011)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by toast - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

#597085
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34786) - you deserved it (79130)

On 03/25/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by nomorebeard (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was trying to convince my boyfriend that I am NOT a dumb blonde. After screaming at the top of my lungs, I tripped over a bin and hit my head on a wall. FML

#582886
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17910) - you deserved it (78440)

On 03/24/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by blondie (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was walking downtown when a bum approached me for some change. I planned to give a couple dollars but after pulling out my wallet exposing my cash, the bum beat me unconscious. The bum is a 5'0" tall woman; I'm a 6'2" male out $200. FML

#579583
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56935) - you deserved it (25940)

On 03/24/2009 at 4:52pm - money - by dude (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was at my friends house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girl if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dial my number and look down to find she has my number is saved in her phone as ASS FACE #3. FML

#574941
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58816) - you deserved it (9044)

On 03/24/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML

#570942
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110027) - you deserved it (7952)

On 03/24/2009 at 1:47am - work - by frenchy (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had an excellent conversation with this guy I met on a gay dating site. We really hit it off well and had a lot in common. We got to the point where he asked me for my picture. I showed it to him and he stopped responding. FML

Today, my mom suspected me of doing marijuana. She went and bought a home-drug test and sent me to the bathroom. As I went in, I realized there was already pee in the toilet. I scooped that instead of my own and handed it to my mom. It came up positive. My sister used the bathroom last. She's 12. FML

#569324
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29585) - you deserved it (70923)

On 03/24/2009 at 12:19am - health - by smokythebear (man) - United States

Today, I was having lunch with my sister and my mother. While my mom was busy ordering food, my sister said to me, "look at this face I can make!" and she grossly contorted her face so that she had a double chin. My mother looked over and said to her, "stop making fun of your sister!" FML

#554363
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59979) - you deserved it (3613)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:22pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

#553935
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80751) - you deserved it (30133)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

#553935
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80751) - you deserved it (30133)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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