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Shallow_Padentic

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Shallow_Padentic
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 18623
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML

#33255
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16136) - you deserved it (36396)

On 02/12/2009 at 7:54pm - misc - by SmokedSalmon (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I shook hands with a girl and held onto her hand while telling her she had very tiny, delicate hands. When I let go to look at them, I discovered she only had two fingers. FML

#30362
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10651) - you deserved it (31912)

On 02/12/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by KWM (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML

#30273
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18277) - you deserved it (44499)

On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I auditioned for the musical at my school. Before I sang my song, I gave my music to the director. She said "Oh, I love this song!". After I sang it, she told me, "Its okay, I still like the song." FML

#14896
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22099) - you deserved it (4209)

On 02/08/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by None (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, My roommate texted me and warned me to be careful on the stairs leading to our place because they were icy. I got the message. After I fell down an entire flight of stone stairs. FML

#12686
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22387) - you deserved it (2939)

On 02/06/2009 at 11:58pm - misc - by CBM2012 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

#9438
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43987) - you deserved it (13052)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - animals - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a guy in the library came up to me and said, "You look very unproductive. It makes me depressed just watching you". FML

#7920
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23647) - you deserved it (3978)

On 02/04/2009 at 12:04pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in the snow and saw some kid slip. I laughed and felt good about myself. Then I fell. FML

#6753
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4810) - you deserved it (60177)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:56pm - misc - by WestboroBC (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML

#6669
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29916) - you deserved it (6783)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:16pm - intimacy - by Zippyzoo (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML

#6627
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39505) - you deserved it (1474)

On 02/03/2009 at 4:46pm - money - by fire0fisis - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I sent a guy that I like a lot a picture of myself, I got all dressed up sexy and did my make-up. He sent me a reply saying "your cat is fat". FML

#5809
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18860) - you deserved it (4453)

On 02/02/2009 at 9:36pm - love - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I came home early from work and discovered my husband wearing a black babydoll nightdress, black stockings and high heels... He says it helps him to relax. FML

#5105
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28777) - you deserved it (2179)

On 02/02/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by a268 - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

#4708
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33492) - you deserved it (7241)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:29pm - misc - by frankrizzo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML

#4642
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31218) - you deserved it (4947)

On 02/01/2009 at 10:48am - intimacy - by nicknack22 - United States (Michigan)

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

#4243
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24933) - you deserved it (1912)

On 01/31/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by toosmall - United States (Pennsylvania)



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