Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Shallow_Padentic

Search for a member

Shallow_Padentic

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 19655
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Shallow_Padentic's page activity

Visits<b>mzrayray</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 9:43pm<b>jbabco</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 11:29pm<b>elibel</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 1:30pm<b>KillaGG</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 5:59pm<b>cobra2012</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 5:36pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:55pm<b>tpike1296</b> - the 04/10/2011 at 4:07pm<b>Sakura13</b> - the 01/30/2011 at 10:03am<b>SimpleSimon</b> - the 08/07/2009 at 10:48am<b>gsm</b> - the 07/31/2009 at 4:28pm<b>mari0958</b> - the 07/01/2009 at 8:14pm<b>oliviafield</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 2:14am<b>sdouaji</b> - the 05/18/2009 at 10:10pm<b>onna</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 7:49pm<b>athensbeach</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 2:00pm<b>djsubdu3</b> - the 05/16/2009 at 11:41pm<b>ilovemysuckylife</b> - the 05/16/2009 at 11:06pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/16/2009 at 4:50pm

Shallow_Padentic's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Shallow_Padentic's favorite FMLs

Today, I slipped on the ice in front of my apartment, spraining my ankle and cracking a rib. While I laid on the ground immediately after, my neighbor chewed me out for saying "shit" in front of her 4-year-old on my way down. FML

#206067
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59022) - you deserved it (3034)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by stupidneighbor (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to get my eyebrows waxed at a korean salon. I have never been there before and it's hard to understand their accents. The women asked me if I wanted "them all off". Not fully understanding what she said, I agreed. When she showed me the mirror, she had taken off my whole eyebrow. FML

#197849
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18851) - you deserved it (46746)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by brows (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in 3 days. FML

#185053
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17033) - you deserved it (60639)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Werner (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and his family had invited me to go on a Tropical family trip with them. When we got to the airport, security stopped me and opened my carry-on bag. I'd forgotten about the no-liquids rule. They took out a bottle of Massage Oil, Lube, Vagasil and Nair. His whole family saw. FML

#173589
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24451) - you deserved it (64142)

On 03/01/2009 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Kammy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was typing up a love letter on my computer. A sexual love letter. I was in a classroom, I'm the teacher, I'm gay, and my love letter showed up on the tv screen while my 7th grade students were taking a test. It was up on the screen for 15 minutes. FML

#168595
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70975) - you deserved it (281770)

On 03/01/2009 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Sad (man) - United States (California)

Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML

#160435
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27697) - you deserved it (95895)

On 02/28/2009 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by textfail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend my self and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house but I left my radio turned on. FML

#159713
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17635) - you deserved it (43031)

On 02/28/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Slipperywhenwet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I slept over at a friend's house. We decided to dress up as ninjas and play a trick on her younger brothers, sleeping in the basement. While sneaking down the stairs, in the dark, her mother came home. Thinking I was a robber, she beat me with a lamp. FML

#158758
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20511) - you deserved it (37627)

On 02/28/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by RosaP (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I don't like his facial hair and that he should shave it off. He replied, "You first." FML

#155544
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21558) - you deserved it (42129)

On 02/27/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by bojangles (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, during a game of manhunt, my brother and his friends thought it would be funny to tie me to a telelphone pole with my very own multicolored jumprope from when I was younger. They left me there. My mom drove by, stared and then laughed, She kept driving. FML

#153350
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56189) - you deserved it (4563)

On 02/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at the beach with my buddy. Messing around, he swam up behind me and dunked me under the water. Naturally, moments later I swam behind him, grabbed both his ankles and stood up, flipping him completely, only to see him watching me from a few feet away. I flipped a 70 year old man. FML

#150078
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17955) - you deserved it (49037)

On 02/27/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by beachbum (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend across the street. I was walking with a girl whom I'd been hooking up with and wanted to make my ex-girlfriend jealous. I kissed her and she immediately smacked me. I got a "ha-ha" text message from my ex. FML

#142749
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16288) - you deserved it (90031)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

Today, I farted in my cubicle thinking no one would smell it. Two seconds later, everyone came to my cubicle to wish me a happy birthday. FML

#132176
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20972) - you deserved it (37585)

On 02/25/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by riappp (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML

#125156
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57685) - you deserved it (6912)

On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by iliketurtles (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: