Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Shallow_Padentic

Search for a member

Shallow_Padentic

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 19422
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Shallow_Padentic's page activity

Visits<b>mzrayray</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 9:43pm<b>jbabco</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 11:29pm<b>elibel</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 1:30pm<b>KillaGG</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 5:59pm<b>cobra2012</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 5:36pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:55pm<b>tpike1296</b> - the 04/10/2011 at 4:07pm<b>Sakura13</b> - the 01/30/2011 at 10:03am<b>SimpleSimon</b> - the 08/07/2009 at 10:48am<b>gsm</b> - the 07/31/2009 at 4:28pm<b>mari0958</b> - the 07/01/2009 at 8:14pm<b>oliviafield</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 2:14am<b>sdouaji</b> - the 05/18/2009 at 10:10pm<b>onna</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 7:49pm<b>athensbeach</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 2:00pm<b>djsubdu3</b> - the 05/16/2009 at 11:41pm<b>ilovemysuckylife</b> - the 05/16/2009 at 11:06pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/16/2009 at 4:50pm

Shallow_Padentic's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Shallow_Padentic's favorite FMLs

Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML

#483847
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89823) - you deserved it (7042)

On 03/20/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by itsgotime (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

#473847
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (125335) - you deserved it (12710)

On 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by ufhdafuhds (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I was enjoying my last day of Spring Break in Panama City. I got up to dance on the stage at the Holiday Inn in front of hundreds of college kids. I tried to be sexy by turning around and bending over. My friends took pictures and my bloody tampon string was hanging out the whole time. FML

#470055
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33418) - you deserved it (87876)

On 03/19/2009 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by LindseyS (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML

#459087
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28278) - you deserved it (104305)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by JohnMackSquirts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML

#448904
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30728) - you deserved it (136784)

On 03/18/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by Melaknee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in an elevator with my brother and a woman. He signs to me that she has a 'damn fine ass'. I chuckle and then shake my head. He shrugs. A second later the woman signs to us, 'Rick, don't you remember me?' Turns out she helped teach my brother sign language when he was six. FML

#434812
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43372) - you deserved it (23662)

On 03/18/2009 at 3:59am - misc - by elevator-troubles (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I asked my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips if he wanted to eat me. He looked at the potato chips, he looked at me and said "Unless your vagina turns into a potato chip, I'd rather eat these." FML

#432766
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39031) - you deserved it (86281)

On 03/18/2009 at 1:22am - intimacy - by myennechee (woman) - Germany (Hamburg)

Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML

#429248
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31907) - you deserved it (84830)

On 03/17/2009 at 11:15pm - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a party and the cops came to bust the party. I jumped out the window of a second story house in order to avoid getting arrested. I broke my leg in three places and got a concussion. The cops let everyone go with a warning. FML

#377584
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41080) - you deserved it (185811)

On 03/16/2009 at 12:02pm - misc - by natty (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML

#278861
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22633) - you deserved it (73242)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:26pm - intimacy - by HansonLUVR (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my cat got into the bathroom while I was changing my tampon. As I was throwing the applicator away, I felt a sharp pain around my vagina; I looked down to find him swatting at the tampon string. FML

Today, I had a job interview. I stopped to take a pee in the lobby before I went in. I relaxed a bit too much at the urinal and accidentally farted. I chuckled about it like a 5-year old for a few seconds. The guy that had been next to me at the urinal was the interviewer. FML

#253814
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18709) - you deserved it (42376)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:45pm - work - by ADH2000 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was sitting in a restaurant with my best friend. We had just competed in a pageant together earlier this month. A lady comes up to my friend who got first alternate and said,"You were robbed of that title. You deserved to win. I hated the winner." I was the winner. FML

#248293
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48022) - you deserved it (5015)

On 03/09/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by frosho (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML

#233704
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19509) - you deserved it (35701)

On 03/07/2009 at 12:16pm - misc - by Triple F (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, we watched a movie in class. Afterwards, the professor asked us what we thought. I raised my hand and said it was pretentious, dull and a really poor example of filmmaking. It was the movie HE spent five years writing and directing. FML

#222376
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22907) - you deserved it (47318)

On 03/05/2009 at 10:25pm - misc - by Nate (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: