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Shallow_Padentic

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Shallow_Padentic
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 18599
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Shallow_Padentic's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to go to a birthday party for 10 year old triplets. They've all been dead for more than 9 years. FML

#16755181
383 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38251) - you deserved it (5830)

On 06/20/2011 at 12:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML

#16154731
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26740) - you deserved it (5731)

On 05/13/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by Username -

Today, at work, a coworker started to tell me about his weekend, without me even asking. Halfway through his story, I started to daydream and lost track of time. Bored, I told him, "Hey man, I'll call you back, I've got to get back to work." Then I remembered I wasn't on the phone. FML

#15441546
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9261) - you deserved it (31529)

On 03/22/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by PFCdavila (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to work despite having a nasty cold. I didn't call up sick because last week when I called in, my boss said I was being "unprofessional and unacceptable." My boss sent me home with a written warning today, claiming that coming to work sick was "unprofessional and unacceptable." FML

#15431401
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34194) - you deserved it (3155)

On 03/22/2011 at 12:59pm - work - by SickandTired (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having I shot at him with the sniper gun I bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was ok. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML

#15431141
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12157) - you deserved it (45488)

On 03/22/2011 at 12:31pm - misc - by FailedSniper (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34810) - you deserved it (30430)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML

#15381959
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46539) - you deserved it (7647)

On 03/19/2011 at 12:00pm - kids - by jaimie - United States (Florida)

Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML

#15373244
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42387) - you deserved it (5017)

On 03/18/2011 at 9:36pm - animals - by SpideyFace (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

#15356314
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15934) - you deserved it (77885)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

#15339337
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39943) - you deserved it (10762)

On 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm - kids - by WTF -

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

#15321178
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52656) - you deserved it (5064)

On 03/15/2011 at 11:50am - love - by notthedad (man) - China

Today, I found out why my boyfriend wouldn't let me move into his new apartment with him. It turns out his other girlfriend had already moved in. FML

#15319129
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39856) - you deserved it (4219)

On 03/15/2011 at 5:23am - love - by Kimberlie (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

#15309756
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99596) - you deserved it (5895) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2011 at 5:26pm - love - by Albert06 - France

Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML

#14505614
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23550) - you deserved it (4656)

On 01/08/2011 at 3:57am - animals - by ciotter (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while changing my clothes, my 3 year old daughter informed me that I looked like a zebra. Noticing my shocked face, she tried comforting me by telling me I was a pretty zebra because I was a purple zebra. She was talking about my stretch marks. FML

#14451100
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28565) - you deserved it (3897)

On 01/03/2011 at 1:56pm - kids - by jenabp - United States (Arizona)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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