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Shadowlainx's favorite FMLs
by maggu / 02/10/2013 at 11:26pm / Denmark / Miscellaneous
Today, really desperate to get a job, I filled out an application for a dishwashing job. My application got tossed out, because I'm not an economics major like the other guy applying for the same job. FML
by Anonymous / 02/10/2013 at 12:55pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Work
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband had a vasectomy this past summer after our son was born and only took one of the two tests. I haven't cheated. He refuses to believe me or get his spunk checked again. FML
by Totallyscrewed / 02/10/2013 at 12:17am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 02/08/2013 at 5:38pm / United Kingdom (Havering) / Miscellaneous
by mydadsgonnakillme / 02/08/2013 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by jdrew32 / 02/03/2013 at 9:17pm / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Intimacy
Today, the guy that I've liked for a while but never had the courage to talk to was wearing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly asked, "Are you the Doctor?" His response was for me to "Go away, f***ing nerd." FML
by guessnot / 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek
Today, my mom accused me of stealing money from her purse. Being totally innocent, I reminded her that the only other person with access to it is her boyfriend. She said she trusts him because she loves him. They've been dating for 2 months. I've been her daughter for 25 years. FML
by :/ / 02/03/2013 at 7:26pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Money
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
by Anonymous / 02/03/2013 at 11:27am / Serbia / Intimacy
Today, I walked in on my mom drenched in tears, barely able to speak. I ran to get her some tissues and a nice cup of tea to calm her down. After a few minutes of sitting in silence, I asked her if she wanted to talk about what happened. She watched an episode of Gossip Girl. FML
by wetqueefa / 02/03/2013 at 4:58am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML
by Anonymous / 02/02/2013 at 6:03pm / Belgium / Love
by rani / 02/02/2013 at 5:34pm / Norway (Oslo) / Love
Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML
by thoughtidseenitall / 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 02/01/2013 at 2:01am / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…